Caring for Yourself Is a Feminist Choice

Flowers?!  For me?

You may get the sense, because I have a blog about style, that each and every day I make sure to look my best before I leave the house. Not so; and that is not exactly what this blog is all about. I don’t feel bad if time simply doesn’t permit me to do more than throw on the dirty clothing I wore yesterday or the workout clothes for this afternoon’s run. I don’t think I’ve ever left the house in pajamas except to let the chickens out, but I’m not above it if there’s simply no time for more (which would be pretty unusual in my early-waking household). This blog, at its core, is about valuing self-care and communicating that value to the world. 

I identify as a lot of things, one of which is feminist. To me, feminism is about information, options, and the freedom to choose (oh goodness, and so much more, but this is a blog, not a book). I am not terribly conflicted about prioritizing and considering my exterior because (a) I see it as a choice, one of many I make each day, and I don’t feel that it bows to society or patriarchy or in any way boxes me in; and (b) I think of clothing, accessories, and [some] makeup as an opportunity to show up and honor myself and the day. Again, though, it’s not a “have to,” it’s just a joy. 

I have a daughter, and that’s part of the calculation – what message do I send her in placing importance on dress? I hope the message I send is one of joy and celebration, but also of modesty, both in terms of coverage and expense relative to income. In making careful choices about my exterior I consider whether it is ever at the expense of another, more important priority, like for example, my kids. No one is left alone or crying so that I can decide what will delight me to wear each day. No one and nothing suffers so that I can choose a layered look that will make me smile and also allow me to nurse my son easily or play outside with my kids in whatever weather. I love thinking about color. I love thinking about clothing as artistic expression. I love building an outfit and considering hue, texture, and proportion in exactly the same way that I love designing and decorating my home and with similar priorities, those being practicality, modesty, beauty, and comfort. I enjoy allowing myself to love these things. 

And here comes the big one: I do love my body – bodies are awesome! - and I feel I’m celebrating it by adorning it with care. Do I have negative thoughts about my body? I do sometimes, but I make a conscious decision not to give them voice – I don’t say them out loud - because THAT, to me, is bowing to society and patriarchy and putting me in a box. This is another value that I choose, that I CAN choose: respecting and celebrating my body, treating it as well as I can and speaking kindly to and about it. 

Dress as a celebration, L.