stylemammal

Secret's Out

2012-03-06T12:10:00.000-05:00

Jockey silky tank; moss-green long sleeve t-shirt (you can't see it) - H&M; burgundy cowl neck t-shirt - Sanctuary; jean jacket - Gap; black corduroy pants - Converse One Star (via Target); silk long underwear - Land's End; engineer boots - Target

Remember Naomi? She's the one who told me about these boots. I love them so much that I, in turn, have told others. Now many of the ladies I know have the same boots, and the world is a happier place. These mid-calf height, black leather engineer boots are outrageously comfortable. I wear them in any kind of weather: summer heat, slushy rain, snow & ice. They come in brown, too. I get compliments on them almost every time I wear them. Here's the secret: they are from Target. And sometimes, they even go on sale.

To me, they are similar-looking to the Frye version, but the big difference for me (other than the - cough, cough - approximately $200 price difference) lies in the fact that my feet find the Frye engineer boots excruciating -- something about high arches or whatever. Word on the street is that Frye boots last forever; I accept the possibility that the Target ones may have a limited lifespan and am just grateful for how amazingly comfortable and versatile I've found them. Plus, shoe soles can be replaced. Care to share any style secrets with us? Share share share, L.

Why Bother & How Bother - featuring Kara

2012-03-05T07:01:00.001-05:00

Kara on vacation!

Kara is a dear friend from my Providence moms' group. I always felt she had a great sense of style and am excited to share her thoughts and tips with you! Enjoy, L.

Why do you bother to pay attention to your clothing choices?

I really love fashion, fabric and color. To me, fashion is a form of art. When I see pictures of celebrities on the red carpet, I love looking at the dress itself. What did the designer choose for fabric? How saturated is the color? Is the design asymmetrical, yet balanced? When I take the time to put an outfit together, I find myself standing taller and being more positive.

What are your top priorities for how you dress? I want to be comfortable and warm. If I'm home with the kids, I need to be able to get on the floor, run outside, lift my son into his car seat, etc. On the other spectrum, I like when my husband comes home from work and says "you look nice." Usually that happens when I take the extra time to put a few accessories on. I think a scarf, belt or some jewelry take minimal time, but can make an outfit go from "blah" to "yeah!"

What colors or textures bring you the most joy to wear? Anything with some stretch in it works well. It helps keep the shape of things and also prevents items from looking too baggy. I don't like things that cling- so there's definitely a happy medium. I mostly gravitate toward solid colors and smooth textures. I LOVE navy. It just reads so timeless and always seems appropriate - and it is a great neutral that goes with everything.

How much time do you spend on self care each day/week/month? I probably spend about 10 minutes each morning and night in a face care ritual. Not much make-up, but a lot of exfoliating, serums, creams, sunscreen, etc. Then a bit of tinted moisturizer, blush and an eyelash curler. I save the shadows and mascara for date nights, parties, etc. I recently discovered a nude tinted lip balm from Burt's Bee's that I love. I keep it in the car, so I can quickly add some hydration and color in one step. I do get my haircut and color every 5 weeks, which feels like a lot, but since it makes me feel better, it's worth it.

After a lot of sleep deprivation and a stressful move, I've been putting more time and effort into myself. I've been calling it "putting humpty dumpty back together."

Where do you find inspiration for how you dress? (Could be a blog, magazine, another person, season, mood, etc.)

I do read "InStyle" magazine and have thumbed through enough fashion magazines in my years to know what looks better on my apple shaped figure. Sometimes I follow the "rules" and sometimes I don't. I like to hear about what the next season's "it" colors are going to be. I'll give them a try, but not in a trendy item- usually just something simple that I already have.

Where do you find the time? I've definitely had more time to think about my clothing choices and put together a better outfit now that my youngest child is in school. I often workout in the morning at some point, so when I first wake up, I put on workout clothes and a moisturizer with spf. I will try to tie on a printed/colorful scarf and large sunglasses to add a bit of style.

After my workout and shower, I have some time to get dressed and blow dry my hair. I'd say I make a conscious outfit decision (accessories, hairspray, etc) about 3 times a week. The rest of the time it's natural hair, jeans and a sweater.

How do you know what looks good on you?

Usually from seeing pictures of myself or from reading about what looks best/compliments my body shape.

How would you describe your current style?

I don't consider myself having a distinct style, but most of the time it's either sporty or classic.

Do you feel it is evolving? Why or why not?

I've been trying to wear more belts and invest in better-made items that look effortless. I love the basics, but get frustrated when they fade and shrink after a year. As I age, I'm finding it's worthwhile to spend a bit more on something as simple as a a long sleeved T. It's all about the fabric and the cut. A better fabric holds up longer, doesn't fade and feels great against your skin.

How well do you think it works with your lifestyle?

I think my style has always been the same, but I'm a smarter shopper. I know what flatters me better and where to avoid shopping. I may love the look from a certain store/brand, but now know that their things just don't fit me well. I find that as I get older, dressing has become easier. If I take good care of my body, mind, skin and hair- I feel good in what I wear no matter what the pieces are.

How do you feel about trends?

I enjoy what the trends are, but don't really partake in them. Sometimes they jog my memory. Like wedges! I forgot how wedges are a great way to wear a heel that is much more comfortable.

Conquered: Faux Fur & Pajama Day #2

2012-03-02T11:09:00.002-05:00

Jockey silky tank; green long sleeved-t - H&M; sweater - Qi; jeans - Joe's; long underwear - Land's End; boots - Timberland; scarf & leather bracelet - local consignment shop

Here is outfit #2 in what I like to think of as the "What Is As Comfy As Fleece" Challenge, also known as "Pajama Days." Good timing, this challenge, because it snowed and everyone in the house is feeling a little under the weather and cozy is an extra-high priority. Since it's just jeans and a sweater, it is as simple and quick to grab off out of your closet (or off your floor, let's be real) as jeans and a fleece. The key here, though, is that these are the jeans that I believe were made just for me - the High Waisted Skinny by Joe's Jeans. They are as comfortable as pajamas - so soft, lots of stretch, and not at all squeezy around my waist. Then there's the cashmere sweater that's easily as soft as fleece, but without the extra bulk. My only problem is that I am sensitive to all wools, so I have to wear a t-shirt underneath or else go insane from scratching. And finally, the topper: a faux fur scarf. This thing feels like I'm cuddling up with a cat - it is so silky - and without any of the allergies . . . or guilt of wearing real fur. Faux fur is a trend, but I think of it as a trendy twist on a timeless texture. I got the scarf at a local consignment shop a while back and then wondered how exactly to wear it. Faux fur feels a little outside my comfort zone, so I paired it with the safe, classic, simple lines of basic jeans and a crewneck sweater. That, plus I was careful to choose subdued colors to allow the scarf's texture to be a focal point. And what a texture it is! I challenge you to tell me that your fleece zip-up is more comfy than my scarf! Fuzzy fashionable fabrics defeat fleece, L.

Pajama Day #1 - WIWW

2012-02-29T14:53:00.000-05:00

Jockey silky tank top; black turtleneck - Land's End; black cashmere sweater - Qi; tan velvety pants - Talbots; Engineer boots - Target; long underwear - EMS; scarf - Gap; hat - D&Y

A friend wrote on facebook last night:

[I have] been wearing a pretty hideous, black, large (feels like XL) fleece vest all day. It's so warm and comfortable that I don't want to take it off, like, ever. But I'm embarrassed to leave the house in it (even though I've done it twice, and am about to make it three times). Why can't fashionable clothing be this comfortable?

More than happy to accept a challenge, I put together three outfits last night that would make me feel like I was wearing pajamas out in the daytime, without actually wearing pajamas. For me, the key ingredients are coziness, softness, and comfort. Your ideas may differ, and if so, please share! Here is Pajama Day outfit #1, and I would totally wear it to bed if I didn't feel ridiculous wearing cashmere to bed and didn't think it would be too hot with blankets on top. I need my blankets.

But here's the thing. I have to wonder what the big draw is to oversized fleece. I mean, I will sometimes throw on my husband's fleece if it's freezing in the house and I need an extra layer, but honestly I find it a bit encumbering to wear so much excess fabric. Is there an element of wishing to hide out in a big blanket that makes it appealing? And if so, then nothing I suggest is going to compare! Except maybe a poncho, but I don't own any to show you.

But if hiding out is not your wish, then soft, fuzzy, cozy clothing options are out there. And I love them, too, especially when the snow finally arrives. My first two suggestions are: cozy knits and soft pants. I'm wearing a cotton knit turtleneck under a drapey cashmere sweater and velvety pants. And that scarf is like a little blanket, itself! I love the whole thing. How about you? Care to share your thoughts on oversized fleece? Does comfy not come in other fabrics? xo, L.

Linking up with the pleated poppy blog for What I Wore Wednesday!

Colored Jeans, Take Two

2012-02-28T14:59:00.002-05:00

Tank Top - Jockey; Long sleeve T - Old Navy; Sweater - August Silk via Marshall's; jeans - DKNY via Marshall's; boots - Vintage Shoe Co.; scarf - American Eagle

Well, would you look at that - I found a way to wear the purple jeans without any black or white (and just a hint of brown in the boots). The key is in the colorful scarf! Here's a trick a friend recommended to me: take a multi-colored scarf that you love, and then use it as inspiration for what tones go together. I had been working it the other way around, trying to find scarves to match what I was wearing; this works even better. I now have one of my scarves taken mostly out of rotation because it hangs in my bedroom near my closet as my color-palette helper. I acknowledge, of course, that many of you may hate scarves and have none with which to try this theory out. Guess what, it can work with jewelry, too. And belts. Even socks. Consider any accessory that has a combination of colors in them that you find beautiful, and use them as inspiration in the same way. Let accessories inspire you, L.

Prairie Skirt, Muddy Day

2012-02-27T17:31:00.003-05:00

Why so serious, Lauren? Silky tank top - Jockey; black sweater - Old Navy; belt - Banana Republic; jean jacket - Gap; prairie skirt - Coldwater Creek; long underwear - EMS; fleece lined leggings - Plush; boots - Franco Sarto; scarf - ?

A happier face!

My mom's friend gave me this skirt over the weekend while we were visiting. Coldwater Creek has surprised me on occasion with some great offerings! I love a long skirt, and this one has more of a casual prairie vibe than anything else I have. Prairie skirt = careful with the other pieces so as not to cross over into cowgirl land. The denim jacket and suede boots probably were pushing it a little but the wide belt and velvet scarf made it work, I thought. As I'd hoped, the skirt proved super comfortable for hanging with the kids. It fell very long on me, so I should have used more caution about the weather. The ground is a bit soggy, so by the end of the day the skirt was covered in mud (and food and stickers). Nothing like machine-washability! xo, L.

I'm on the Ode Blog!!!

2012-02-24T06:55:00.000-05:00

If you've ever read the first post on my blog, then you know the deep gratitude I feel for the ladies over at Ode. So, it is with great pleasure that I am letting you know they've featured me & Stylemammal over on their blog , which by the way is filled with beautiful photos and style lookbooks, inspirational interviews, and scenes from their philanthropic pursuits. It's a great blog, go check it out and be sure to visit the store when you're in the neighborhood! xo, L

Wipe Out - What I Wore Wednesday

2012-02-22T15:39:00.001-05:00

Shirt - Graham & Spencer; moto cardigan - Greylin; jeans - Paige; boots - Vintage Shoe Company; stretchy tank top - Revolve

School's out ... plus houseguests for the past week ... plus the prospect of upcoming travel. I'm tired! This groovy outfit is so very soft and stretchy, and I love the wave-y pattern across the front of the shirt. The whole thing relaxes me.

More about the shirt: it was on supersale and so I allowed myself to buy it, even though I have a personal rule about silk (as in, I usually don't buy silk because I don't want to send out a "don't touch me with those dirty hands! I'm wearing silk!" vibe). I love the shirt and I wear it and yes, there is some kind of drip mark down the front from who-knows-what-or-which-child. I don't care. Drip marks happen; that's what patterns and cardigans are for. Wear it if you love it, rules be darned, L.

Wild Geese and the Intersection of Decor and Wardrobe

2012-02-21T16:14:00.002-05:00

Love.

Look around your home or office. You have made choices about what will surround you during your day. Do you tend toward a particular style or period of decor or do you like to mix it up? Are all the walls and all the floors and all the pictures and all the linens a neutral beige or grey, or do you like to surround yourself with color? Have you allowed your preferences in tastes and colors in home decor to evolve over time? Evolution can be very slow, can’t it!? For me, it starts with a feeling, king of like an itch. Then it’s a long process of idea-gathering and catalog-reading and craigslist-hunting and furniture-arranging. In our living room, for example, I’ve noticed that I have a lot of black frames with white mats up on my off-white walls, which I originally chose for their uniformity and spartan appeal . . . and now I find them boring and staid. Still, it’ll likely be quite some time before I can make the switch. In the meantime, I’ll try to work more color into the room’s accessories to get a (more affordable and less permanent) feel for where I want to go with the rest of the room’s colors and textures. I’m not embarrassed to tell you this. I’m not sheepish when discussing with friends the updates I make in my home, the new piece of art, the paint colors and how they change depending on the light, the decoupaged switchplates I made, or my awesome new blender. There are endless conversations to be had about practicality, style, cost, and design. No one seems to feel shy when talking about paint.

But we hush up when admitting an obsession with finding the perfect boots.

I see a pretty clear route from decor to wardrobe. What feelings do color tones evoke for you? Do you notice a different mood when you are wearing a bright sweater or jacket or even scarf? I definitely feel happier and more content when I am wearing colors or patterns, and I carry that with me wherever I go in my day (even if it’s nowhere!) What about texture? Does a silky, shiny, nubby, wooly, or woven garment have the same effect on you as polar fleece? All our senses can drink in a kind of beauty and everything has its place. The feel or sight of clothing – or of myself in my clothing - can range from uplifting, to neutral, to depressing, but knowing I have a choice and a contribution to make in the matter is powerful. And it’s the same whether we are talking about sofas, solar panels, or summer sandals.

So I guess my question for you is this: if you allow yourself to notice and express your instinctive likes and dislikes when it comes to the surroundings of your home or office, is there something holding you back from attending in a similar way to your clothing style? Does it feel frivolous? Self-indulgent? Perhaps it’s time to reexamine the assumptions and allow ourselves to just enjoy what we enjoy. Here’s some more food for thought - a poem by Mary Oliver that I carry around with me in my wallet.

Wild Geese
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

You are allowed to love what you love, L.

Conquered: Colored Denim, or: Donna Karan Does Love Me

2012-02-20T18:34:00.001-05:00

It's possible that you have not noticed, but denim makers recently have come up with some neat-o new twists on our ubiquitous old fave - the jean. Lately you can't read a style mag or blog without seeing waxed denim, animal print denim, floral print denim, and especially colored denim.

I have found myself more easily accepting of colored jeans than of other new fashions. I rather like the idea of a brightly hued jean with my denim shirt or some other neutral, but I recognize that it's a trend - and therefore that it may look dated before too long. A common rule for adopting trends is to spend as little as possible on them, and I agree with that along with my general rule that I not make a purchase unless I absolutely LOVE the item and feel incredible in it. However, I almost - ALMOST - broke both rules when I saw a pricey pair of cherry red jeans at my favorite shop recently. Ultimately, I felt that the fabric was a little too thin for me. Picture me sighing wistfully as I left them behind. I was convinced, though, that the right pair was out there for me. I checked out the Gap, H&M, and Express and found that all of them had great colors, but too low a rise (the "rise" is the distance from crotch to top of waist) for me. I daydreamed that DKNY would just replicate my fave skinnies in a pretty color, but I didn't really think it would happen. Bet you can't guess where I stumbled upon the answer to my denim prayers . . .

Stretchy long sleeve t - Revolve; knit off-white top - Ann Taylor; brown cashmere sweater - Marshall's; jeans - DKNY via Marshall's; taupe boots - Frye

So they are more of a wine shade than they appear here in the pic, which I really like. And they have the comfy rise, thickness, and stretch that I have come to expect from DKNY. My question is, how did Donna Karan read my mind and create the exact perfect colored jean for me - and then send it to my favorite discount retailer for me to find? She must love me, I know she does. Thank you DKNY, L.

A Sip of Cognac Part 2

2012-02-17T14:33:00.000-05:00

A HUGE chipmunk is squawking at me and distracting me from the camera! Long sleeve stretchy tshirt - Revolve; black long sleeve tshirt - Michael Kors via Marshalls; sweater - Ann Taylor; belt - thrifted; jeans - DKNY; silk long underwear - Land's End; boots - Franco Sarto via Marshalls; scarf - thrifted

So here again we have pops of cognac helping to elevate an otherwise blah palette of denim, black, and white. Looking down at boring neutrals all day does not thrill me; hence the warm cognac upgrade. Yum, that is a really nice cozy color, isn't it? Plus we have a little pattern mixing going on with the plaid scarf against the stripey sweater. I fell in love with that scarf the moment I saw it - what a pretty plaid!

It's February and it's President's Day weekend, therefore it is highly likely that boots will be going on sale, if not now then soon! You may want to start doing your homework to determine what to grab as retailers transition to the next season. Consider cognac's coppery cheer, L.

My Style of Anniversary

2012-02-16T08:06:00.002-05:00

Stylemammal-ing can be about more than clothes. From the beginning, I’ve said that it’s about finding a mode of decoration and adornment, a style of doing and being that feels like joy to me (and to you!) So. We are celebrating this week at stylemammal central, and it turns out I’m kind of ridiculous about my anniversary. More for the gift that I give than the gift that I get; I’ve always said that all *I* really want from him is a good old fashioned love letter.

On my end, though, I get carried away with the notion of finding a gift that contains the number of years we are celebrating AND is in keeping with the “traditional anniversary gifts” concept. AND, ideally, the gift is made by a local artist. (Good thing we’ve always lived in towns that support local artists, eh?) I think it’s partly because the gift I give is as much to *us* as it is to *him.* That's just the way we roll on our anniversary in general because he prefers to receive more practical gifts and I save those for Father's Day and his birthday. For the anniversary, we both find it sentimental to look at the gift later and immediately recall what anniversary it was for, and what it represented at the time in terms of where we were in our life together. I remember what I got my husband for our first anniversary (traditional first anniversary gift is “paper”): artwork by a local Baltimore artist of images from the harbor. At the time, we lived there and knew the scenes well; now they are on our walls and remind us of our beginning. Honestly, I don’t recall gifts 2-6 very well, though I do remember a BIG issue over an underwhelming anniversary #3 wherein we both learned how very, deeply important our anniversary is to me. If you catch my drift. Anyway, in general I am completely smitten and often weepy whenever I cast a glance at the gifts we’ve gotten each other, or purchased together, to celebrate what we have.

Anniversary #7 (copper): wood, copper, and other natural materials were used to create the seven flowers that now adorn the threshold of our bedroom.

Anniversary #8 (bronze): this orb is hanging in our chicken pen (and viewable from our kitchen window). It is made of bronze and has 8 circles, one inside the other.

The necklace we got here off of etsy is a number 8, or an infinity sign, depending how it falls.

Anniversary #9 (pottery): this plate hanging above our stove has 18 Japanese maple leaves on it, and we chose it together (2x9=18). The artist is sort of local . . . in Providence, RI. We don’t live there now, but we did live there once, so I think it counts!

Plus, this necklace with 9 circles is from an actual artist in residence here.

So, now you know how hyper sentimental this mammal can be. But, it’s my nature, it’s my style, and it makes me happy. And that’s what this blog is all about. Celebrate in (your) style, L.

A Sip of Cognac Part 1

2012-02-15T12:23:00.000-05:00

Stretchy long sleeve tshirt (hidden) - Revolve; White long sleeve tshirt - Michael Kors via Marshall's; vest - Ann Taylor; scaft - mom; jeans - Joe's; boots - Franco Sarto via Marshall's; silk long underwear bottoms - Land's End

I sort of got these cognac brown suede tall boots accidentally last year at Marshall's. I meant to get something more grey, but they didn't have my size in those, so I settled for these. And now I have found that they are infinitely more versatile than grey for me. A grey boot might have been fine with this outfit because of the grey in the vest, but I think the pops of cognac and teal together improve the look and more importantly they are cheerful to look at all day long. Plus, I have come to find that wearing warm blue and cognac accents are good for me because my eyes are blue with yellow and my hair is a warm brown; as we have discussed before it can help you look put together when you repeat your skin, hair, lip, and eye colors within your outfits. If you take away the accent colors of this outfit, for example, you are left with a really boring white/grey/black (well it's dark blue but reads as black) palette. A sip of cognac will warm you up, L.

Mindblowing Progress in the World of Glasses

2012-02-13T17:53:00.000-05:00

Image from Stuart Heath via Flickr

I have terrible vision, and despite the fact that I am completely helpless without eyewear, I have always felt like glasses were an imposition at best. My vision is so bad that wearing glasses sometimes feels like wearing goggles to me; I have no peripheral vision and have to turn my head to see what is happening out the sides. I'm like an owl, except not really. Add to this the fact that glasses for me cost hundreds of dollars due to my severe nearsightedness and astigmatism. And when I buy a pair, I have to make my best guess at whether this exorbitantly priced accessory will in fact go with everything else I ever would choose to put on. THE PRESSURE! Ok, I think you get the picture. I usually wear contacts.

But what if there were a way you could try on vintage-inspired glasses in the comfort of your own home before ordering them in your prescription? And now imagine they were only $95 (holy cow, that includes the lenses)! And on top of that imagine that for every pair you ultimately purchased, they'd give away a pair of glasses to benefit someone in need. Count me in, y'all. I am going to schedule an eye exam and then order from this site: Warby Parker. I'll keep you posted, but until then, if you've got a current prescription, please feel free to have at it and let the rest of us know the results!!! I dare you to order the monocle, L.

What Do You Do with an Outfit Fail?

2012-02-10T13:29:00.000-05:00

Grey stretchy long sleeve t - Revolve; grey/white/coral Hawaiian print dress - thrifted; black cashmere sweater - Land's End; silk long underwear - Land's End; black ponte knit pants - Calvin Klein; boots - Franco Sarto; scarf - random mall accessories shop; pin - family heirloom

Here's some more pattern mixing in an outfit that, overall, I consider a fail. Have a good laugh; I did! It's not a good look, is it. I think the shape of the ensemble is a little awkward and there's a bit too much going on, but darn it, it was fun putting the patterned stuff together! Plus, I really wanted to wear this tunic/dress, but it doesn't fit on top so it *needs* to be covered up with something, and most of my "somethings" are in the wash or at the dry cleaner. I may turn it into a skirt on the recommendation of a friend.

Ultimately, when I'm looking down I just see a mess of different stuff and it doesn't look or feel cohesive. It's not bringing me joy; rather, it's making me feel disjointed and costumey. Worth changing out two items to see...

Darn it, too much black is too heavy against the lightweight fabrics and prints.

I like this better.

I guess the lessons here are: (1) when pattern mixing, it can help to streamline and tone down the silhouette as well as the other pieces in the outfit; and (2) if what you're wearing brings you down, it's perfectly ok to take the time to make a change. It's not frivolous, it's mood-enhancing. You'd straighten out a tilted picture frame on the wall, wouldn't you? Or even change it out if it doesn't suit the decor? Outfit fail = try again, L.

Accept the Smudges

2012-02-09T12:53:00.000-05:00

Why yes, that is gold sparkly nailpolish. Love me anyway.

The other day I was perusing InStyle magazine (for research purposes, of course) when I flipped to a headline that said, "I always smudge my polish before it dries!" And I thought, "ME, TOO!" But then I read more closely and saw that the subject of the article was "20 Most Annoying Beauty Problems Solved!" And I realized they didn't mean it in the same way I did.

I have a nailpolish philosophy. Stop laughing, I'm serious. I rarely do my nails, but when I do I always look forward to the first smudge or nick in the polish. It gets the inevitable out of the way. My hands these days are usually submerged in laundry, dishes, or diapers (nice image -- you're welcome), and imperfection is reality. Polish is fun sometimes, but it's ... polish. It's a shiny layer on top of what's real. And it's never going to last long in my lifestyle.

I try to keep my expectations about things - from nailpolish to relationships - about as low as I possibly can. This does not come easy to me; I have to work really hard at it. Sometimes it does not work and I fixate on "should" and "if only" (and dontcha know I find myself biting my lovely nails). Often I literally have to talk myself through it as a mental exercise:
Me: OH NO I AM SO FRUSTRATED I NEED TO SCREAM
Me: what is wrong?
Me: chicken poo tracked through the house AGAIN!
Me: sigh. That is annoying.
Me: Yes, IT'S ANNOYING.
Me: Annoying and frustrating. But can it still be ok?
Me: No!!! No! No. Maybe. Fine. Maybe yes.
Me: Maybe yes, you can still be ok, because it's just life. Um, your breathing is very shallow. Breathe! Now, what do you think this moment might be trying to show you?
Me: That chicken poo in the house is inevitable when you have chickens. And it's ok.

It doesn't always work. But by making a conscious effort to accept imperfection, I find I have more room for joy. Here's another mental exercise I like to do. Instead of getting attached to what "should" be, even as it relates to something as small as nailpolish, I try as best I can to maintain an attitude of "Oh, well." As in, "Oh, well, my nail got chipped." "Oh, well, my child tracked chicken poo through the house (again)." "Oh, well, the roof is leaking." "Oh, well, that job wasn't what I thought." "Oh, well, that person wasn't *who* I thought." Some things are harder to say "oh, well" to, and some are easier, but like I said it's a mental exercise. And it helps me to notice what things are more, and less, important. There are real stresses in life, real traumas, but chipped polish ain't one of them. Bring on the smudges; they're a good reminder, L.

What I Wore Wednesday - Pop of Plaid

2012-02-08T12:53:00.006-05:00

grey stretchy long sleeve t - Revolve; black turtleneck - Land's End; vest - Old Navy; belt - thrifted; scarf - a billion years old, from Edinburgh, Scotland; jeans - DKNY; boots - Coach via Marshall's

Today's outfit is super easy - darkwash bootcut jeans plus black boots, belt, and turtleneck provide an easy backdrop that allow the khaki vest and old-school plaid scarf to stand out. You can hardly see the coordinating gold nailpolish . . . more on that tomorrow. xo, L
Linking up today with Rae Gun Ramblings for What I Wore Wednesday!

Pattern Mixing

2012-02-07T13:29:00.002-05:00

Grey/lavender stripe waffle knit long sleeve t shirt - American Eagle via consignment shop; plaid flannel shirt - LL Bean via thrift shop; scarf via mom; jeans - Calvin Klein via Marshall's; boots - Franco Sarto via Marshall's; silk long underwear - Land's End

I probably do it wrong a lot, but I don't care - I luuuuuuuv mixing patterns together. This blog post is where I learned the basics of how to combine patterns. Check out www.nomoremomjeans.com for some really fun ideas and writing that will make you laugh out loud. Well, it makes me laugh out loud, anyway. Jae really knows a heck of a lot about fashion, and she's great at creating easy, do-able style boards. Go check it out, you'll see what I mean.

I know another gal who is crazy for pattern mixing, and she is my daughter. Talk about someone who has a zest for her own personal style:

Not quite feeding the birds by throwing pretend food to them. Butterfly dress & black leggings - Old Navy; striped leg warmers (yes, those are legwarmers that she's pulled all the way up) - H&M; pink plaid boots - North Face via consignment shop

Mix & (not necessarily) match, L.

Shape Shifting

2012-02-06T14:01:00.001-05:00

Brown tank top - Revolve; teal patterned blouse - Kimchi Blue via consignment shop; sweater - Josephine Chaus; jeans - Paige; silk long underwear - Land's End; boots - Rieker; scarf - gift from old friend JZD

Today's outfit was really fun to put together - it's a very different silhouette than I usually do. Ordinarily, I either do a longer top over skinny/straightleg jeans or leggings *or* I do bootcut jeans with a shorter top. But today I mixed it up in a couple of ways: First, by putting a long, almost dress-like blouse over bootcuts and then a short sweater on top of that; and second, by pairing two patterns together (see the scarf and the top both have patterns in them). More about pattern mixing tomorrow; for now I am really preoccupied with the shape shift. I was inspired by Trinny & Susannah's book "What You Wear Can Change Your Life," which I recommend for ideas about flattering colors and shapes for different body-types, although I have trouble with their no-holds-barred approach to critiquing their own bodies. Read at your own risk and maybe do like I did and take it out of the library. In any case, it was good inspiration for a little change. Shake up your shape, L.

Confessions of a Thrift Shopaholic

2012-02-03T07:17:00.001-05:00

Here is a guest post, as promised, from Naomi! Enjoy! xo, L. And, for more from Naomi, visit naomishulman.com

All Thrifted!

Old Navy long-sleeve, V-neck T (via Goodwill); Boden cardigan (via Hospice Shop); Pine IV corduroys (via Hospice Shop) -- this is a brand I'd never heard of but they are apparently very pricey; Nine West shoes (via Goodwill); Necklace (Hospice Shop); and, not shown, coat from Goodwill, hat and gloves from Hospice Shop!

I actually remember when I first got the bug. I was sixteen, I had no money, and Pretty In Pink had just been released. I was fascinated by Molly Ringwald’s wardrobe -- her character, if you recall, was not one of the “richies,” so she went super boho-chic and found all her clothes at thrift shops. She also managed to fashion the ugliest, least flattering prom dress I have ever seen, but let’s ignore that for the time being. The real takeaway was that she looked amazing in her one-of-a-kind outfits, and she put them together with minimal cash.

Maybe I could do this, my sixteen-year-old self thought.

There weren’t many good thrift shops where I was growing up, so I began by scouring clearance racks, yard sales, and my mom’s poorly edited closet (where much of my favorite items were to be found). It took a little longer to find the clothes I wanted, but I also found it satisfied a certain creative itch, and the price was certainly right (especially my mom’s closet). I still recall many of the ensembles I put together those last few years of high school -- some with chagrin, but some with pride and oh-I-wish-I-still-had-that.

All through college, I honed my skills of dressing on the cheap. The college town where I went to school (Burlington, VT) had some fantastic thrift stores (Old Gold, anyone?), and I learned the basics of good thrift shopping at those places. This carried me well through graduate school (shout-out to The Garment District in Kendall Square, Cambridge!) and the early days of my first real job-job, which had fairly strict dress code (I am forever grateful to Harvard Square’s Second Time Around).

I will admit that when I lived in New York City, I let my thrift shopping skills get a little rusty. I worked on Fifth Avenue, y’all, and I had no kids to spend my money on yet. So, yeah, I went retail for a while. But now that I’m a struggling freelance writer with a family of four, I am a devoted thrifter once again. I try to buy all our clothes secondhand, with the exception of underwear and bathing suits. Yes, I have even bought used socks, if they look like they’re in good condition. And I don’t hesitate to buy used shoes, although that is an area where I am most likely to splurge on something new.

Why do I love thrift shopping so much? Part of it is the thrill of the hunt. There’s no challenge in a boutique or a mall, no “look-what-I-found” satisfaction that comes with the purchase. Speaking of satisfaction, thrift-shopping carries a certain smugness that goes along with buying something that’s truly green -- buying used is reusing/recycling, after all. (I have occasionally bought “green” brands used -- now that’s environmentally correct!). I’m also happy to have my dollars support a charitable cause (my favorite thrift store here in Northampton is the Hospice Shop because it funds our local hospital hospice).

The real reason I love thrifting, though, is that I have gotten fantastic stuff. My closet is stuffed to the gills with the kinds of clothing I would never allow myself to buy at full price, even if I could afford it. Cashmere sweaters. High-end “premium denim” jeans, the kind that retail for $180 a pair. Anthropologie, Boden, Garnet Hill, J. Crew -- all well-represented in my wardrobe. I don’t feel like I’m compromising my fashion sensibility one bit. The truth is, if I did feel that way, I probably wouldn’t shop at thrift stores.

If I had to boil it down thrift shopping to a few fundamental principles, here’s what I’d say:

1. Visit often. Thrift stores can be overwhelming. Sometimes they’re huge; they’re almost always a complete hodgepodge of colors, styles, and sizes. If you visit a store regularly, you’re more likely to be able to navigate the place with success -- and spot the good stuff a little more easily.

2. Don’t be put off by the ugly stuff. Appreciate the ugly stuff. The ugly stuff is what allows the good stuff to remain in hiding until you find it.

3. If it’s not really right, it’s really wrong. I’ve learned this the hard way. If it doesn’t fit, if it’s a bad color, if it’s just not a flattering shape for you -- it doesn’t matter how good a deal it is, you shouldn’t have it in your closet.

I love thrift shopping so much, I can be a little be evangelistic about it. When people compliment a garment I'm wearing it's all I can do not to say "Goodwill! Three bucks!" In fact, I often give in to the urge and blurt it out regardless. So the next time you admire something I'm wearing, go ahead and ask me where I got it. I really don't mind. In fact, I like it.

Smart 2012 Resolutions

2012-02-02T11:18:00.000-05:00

I love this outfit! Scarf - Grandma; Black stretchy long sleeve shirt - Revolve; blue/black knit top - Michael Kors; black swingy sweater - H&M; jeans - Paige; boots - Vintage Shoe Company

I know it sounds a little strange, but I believe in waiting until February to make any real resolutions for the new year. I usually find January to be a pretty chaotic time. Thus, I allow myself to ease into the new year and make my plans a little later, once I'm in the groove of things. In addition to trying to be realistic about changes I might make this year, I am also attempting to increase the mindfulness and attention I devote to my actions and experiences.

Do you know about making SMART goals? This means they are: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-framed. It's a good guide, plus it makes me keep my list short because I have to give some serious thought to each goal. Some of my goals are smart, and some are just general wishes for myself - not necessarily for 2012 but for life.

Here are some SMART resolutions I'm making:
Stretch. Of course I know better, but I've gotten into the habit of leaving stretching out of my fitness routine. I think it happened as a result of being so pressed for time with the little guy around, but he's a little older now and, ahem, so am I -- my body is yelling at me so I think it's time. I am going to stretch for 10 minutes, 4-5 days per week. I am going to do it in the evenings before bed. Maybe while watching "Weeds," or maybe while listening to a podcast.

Learn to Sew. Already since the Fall I have oriented myself with my sewing machine and made a few simple items, but I need guidance from a pro so I can move on from curtains. I checked, and beginner classes aren't available this term, so I will re-visit this goal in the Summer and/or Fall at a local creative arts center.

Limit Computer Time. I think I have 6 email addresses, plus facebook and texting. AND, I can see my emails from my phone. Add blogging to that, and it's all just too much. Plus, too frequently I glance at an email at a time when I cannot respond . . . and then it gets buried by other emails, never to be seen again and never addressed. This is poor time management and it's rude. The answer is in my own hands. So the resolution shall be: limiting myself to 15-to-30 minute chunks of time (enough to actually respond to messages and schedule events and appointments), 4 times per day (first thing in the morning, during my son's nap, in the afternoon if there is time, and once after dinner). The world will keep on spinning even if I am not constantly watching for messages, and I will feel better about being qualitatively more available.

Here are some hopes for myself -
Keep trying to dress my personality, perhaps adding in more playful elements, and continue to explore stylistic expression as a means of caring for myself.
Read more books for pleasure.
Get into bed soon after the kids are in bed, instead of heading downstairs (where the kitchen and tv are).
Subscribe to the local paper.
Pay the bills as they arrive.

I feel good getting this out there. What are your resolutions? Get smart, L.

WIWW - Musings on Contrast

2012-02-01T09:56:00.002-05:00

Jockey silky tank; Green turtleneck - Gap; Jean Jacket - Gap; Skirt - Jones NY (circa 1996); Fleece lined leggings - Plush; Boots - Frye; belt - thrifted

Remember last month when I tried to figure out what colors looked best on me? That was fun, but kind of a tiny little bit unsuccessful. I still don’t know. Since then, though, I have been relying instead on two other modes of guidance when choosing items: 1) the Hold It Up Test; and 2) the concept of congruous contrast. Let’s converse concerning contrast. 'K?

When I look in the mirror, what do I see? Medium-to-dark hair and brows, medium-to-pale skin with yellow undertones, blue eyes with some gold in them, and pink-peach lips. None of my tones are terrifically bright or dark; all are pretty medium. As a result, I tend to look best in outfits that have a moderate amount of contrast in them. Not very low contrast (like a whole outfit of muted greys, for example), and not very high contrast (like, for example, the red/navy/grey combo I'm wearing here or the very colorful houndstooth blazer I have on here). This completely blew my mind when I first realized it. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to wear brights and high-contrast patterns sometimes, but at least I'll know what I'm doing when I'm doing it, which is to say that when I choose to wear stark dark/light patterns or very bright colors I know they are sort of “wearing me” instead of the other way around.

My most flattering color combinations are medium contrast and contain some color(s) from my own hair, eye, lip, or skin color palette. And hey - you can certainly tinker with all of this if you care to dabble in makeup or hair dye. So, for example, I can (and did last month) create a higher contrast canvas by going a shade darker with my hair color and filling in my brows a bit. Or I might swap my usual tinted lip balm or gloss for bright red lipstick (maybe next week). Or I can try lining my eyes with dark pencil and doing a “smoky eye” (very rarely). Please note, I said “or” for a reason. You do not need to try all these at once! But if you feel experiment-y, then go ahead, try them, see what you like. Let your contrast be your compass, L.

Linking up once again with the Pleated Poppy blog, Rae Gun Ramblings, momtrends.com, and Momma Go Round:

Conquered: Denim Shirt

2012-01-31T09:12:00.001-05:00

For me it rarely happens that I set out to find and buy a particular item of clothing, and then actually end up finding and buying that item of clothing. But it happened the other day. I was hunting for a denim shirt - long enough so that I could wear it untucked with a skirt or skinny jeans; no buttons on the breast pockets; and super soft. I tried the Gap and found a supersoft shirt, but it was too slim-fitting and had buttons on the pockets. Then I headed straight to Land's End and found the exact shirt I was looking for. Online I could only find it in white, but I think this is it. It's a little boxy and is definitely more of a tunic than a button down, so I think it works best with a layer over it, either a vest or a sweater. In those cases, I could belt it to create a waist without worrying about all the fabric bunched up in back.

I have worn it three times since I bought it last week. Usually if I wear black, brown, or grey pants I need my tops to fill in the color in my outfit. But, since denim reads as a neutral and goes with anything, it's nice to have a denim top (other than my jean jacket) to pair with black pants or other tones while allowing the accessories to stand out.

There's also a whole discussion in the style world going on about pairing denim with denim. I think the key is to mix up the denim shades as well as textures - there is so much available these days in denim, from color to wash, weight, and amount of stretch. It takes a steady hAAannd... et voila:

Stretchy long sleeve t-shirt - Revolve; Denim shirt - Land's End; Vest - Old Navy; Pink/gold scarf - Old Navy; Jeans - Joe's; boots - Franco Sarto; Long underwear - EMS

How did I do?
Shop and conquer, L.

Seasonal Mash-up - Summer White in Winter

2012-01-28T08:01:00.000-05:00

Jockey tank top; White long-sleeve tshirt - Michael Kors; White front-tie tunic - H&M; Puffer vest - Old Navy; Scarf - ?; long underwear - EMS; jeans - Joe's; boots - Timberland

Today I was really missing the light, flowy vibe of summer. So, in spite of the freezing rain and snow, I layered up my summer-weight white tunic from H&M (that I also have in grey but it's already grey enough outside) and anchored it with a wintery puffer vest, scarf, and tall duck-boots. I like the contrast! Wynona the chicken liked it, too (you can see her in the bottom right corner). p.s., on the subject of repeating colors throughout an outfit (see previous posts on this subject), the scarf color is repeated in the grape/white pattern inside the hood of the vest, the brown of the vest is echoed in the brown of the boots, and the scarf and boot accent colors (grape/green) are a similar level of color brightness. Dress with your mood, not just with the season, L.

The Joy and Pain of Comfort Shoes

2012-01-27T13:04:00.001-05:00

The reference to comfort shoes in my tagline is supposed to be funny, because it’s true: comfort shoes abound here. I’ll tell you a story. When I moved here I spent good money on a pair of funky, but ugly, shoes. So ugly they were cute, know what I mean? Ok, but this is before I became determined to explore and discover what *I* liked as opposed to what looked good on other people. At this point, I still just wanted to fit in. Funky ugly comfort shoes were everywhere and I kind of liked how they looked ... on other people. So. I bought a pair of shiny red reverse-heel technology mary janes. They looked ridiculous on me, and they were not even comfortable. Every time I wore them, I felt wrong and found myself staring at them. In the end, I gave them away. Wasn't that a great story?

I know, I'm a great storyteller. Here's the thing, the moral of the story is what counts: choose items that express *your* own personality. Clothes and accessories, including shoes, make a statement. If they clash with your personality, you'll never feel comfortable in them. The mary janes were major statement shoes, and the statement they made didn't align with my personality. I guess I'm just not really that funky. That's ok. I have many other fine qualities.

And truly, I, too, love a comfort shoe. I have bunions and weak ankles and I live in a walking town. I'm happy to report that there are an increasing number of shoe brands willing to cater to the finicky foot as well as the discriminating eye. Even Ugg and Birkenstock make beautiful footwear along with their popular classic, um, looks. In the pic above, you can see a range of local winter footwear, from the ubiquitous comfy slip-on to a funky Bogs boot to the very cool Sorel Joan of Arctic. As with everything, this comes down to your own sense of taste, but the point is that you can choose footwear that makes you feel amazing. I am partial to Rieker, North Face, and La Canadienne for beautiful, winter-proof choices that are just outrageously comfortable. If you are curious to take a peek at someone else’s research on this topic, check out barkingdogshoes.com ("fashionable finds for fussy feet"). Because just like the rest of you, your feet deserve style *and* comfort, L.

What I Wore Wednesday: A Whole New Wardrobe?

2012-01-25T12:59:00.001-05:00

Over the past week I've done two posts on shopping your closet and one on not shopping at all. Here's one that's someplace in the middle, in which we stand up to the bugaboo nightmare of buying a Whole New Wardrobe. Run screaming! So overwhelming the thought, right? Whether you're postpartum or between careers or just for some reason unhappy with the selection available to you in your closet, you may find yourself completely ready for change but still trying to decide whether it's "worth" jumping in and buying a Whole New Wardrobe. My feeling is this: we're actually talking about a relatively manageable number of new items to start. It doesn't have to be a 20 piece collection costing you an investment of a thousand dollars and a full weekend of shopping. It just doesn't.

Consider how much easier it would be to stare down your closet each day if you woke up and had two new pairs of pants that fit you and you looked forward to wearing them. Now imagine what you could do by adding two new tops in flattering colors or patterns that hang on you just right and make you feel amazing. One new sweater for layering. Picture two scarves. One tunic, skirt, or dress. AAaand, you're done. I am serious, this is a Whole New Wardrobe. Do-able, right?

On me: Black Engineer boots - from Target; green long sleeve t-shirt - H&M; the rest is all from Marshall's, including brown cashmere cardigan - Maria Christina; black ponte knit skinnies - Calvin Klein; and scarf - Cynthia Rowley. In my hand: Grey jersey dress - Isa & Co, from local boutique. On the rack: blue/black shirt - Michael Kors from Marshall's; jeans - Calvin Klein, Marshall's; black sweater - H&M; scarf - grandma.

Before I leave you to contemplate this, I want to add: it's imperative that you only only only only only purchase items that are comfortable to wear, work together, and make you feel beautiful, happy, powerful, incredible. Do not compromise on this part, as it's the key to making 5 or 6 pieces of clothing into something much larger - and by that I mean a streamlined closet that enhances and contributes to the joy you feel each day.

Need to talk budget? To keep spending in check I'd recommend considering clothing swaps with friends, thrifting, consignment shops, ebay, and discount retailers, either online or local. I do all of these, but it would appear from this picture that I love Marshall's. Shop with a Whole New Mindset, L.

Linking up today with the Pleated Poppy Blog, Rae Gun Ramblings, and Momma Go Round

Plaid Flannel and Scarf

2012-01-24T08:39:00.001-05:00

Stretchy off white long sleeve t-shirt - Revolve; Plaid flannel shirt - LL Bean, thrifted; Grey sweater - Patagonia, local shop; Jeans - Calvin Klein via Marshall's; long underwear - EMS; boots - North Face via Clark's; Scarf - no idea

An average outfit with a teensy bit of extra interest in the scarf knot I chose. There are so many ways to use a scarf, but today I'm primarily using it to keep me warm so I wanted it to be close up against my neck. Didn't want to add too much bulk over the collar of the shirt, so I went with a men's tie knot. The scarf is in the same color family as the reddish stripe in the plaid flannel - close enough, I figure.

About the boots/legline - I love these boots but in fact they're tricky to style. I think they look better when there is a bit of off-white elsewhere in the outfit. It helps balance out the white stripe of faux shearling against my lower leg. It's a style tip that I seem to have trouble learning - maybe you'll catch on more quickly than I have: Repeating colors within an outfit makes the whole look cohesive. Lather, rinse, repeat, L.

Take A Step Back

2012-01-23T17:01:00.000-05:00

Nothing to wear?

My last two entries described a couple of easy “first steps”; outfits you could assemble from pieces you might already have in your closet. I’ve gotten feedback that those were helpful posts for some. But what if you’re starting off with a closet full of clothing that doesn’t fit you or you don’t have a lot of time to spend on clothing, and as a result you’re frustrated by such outfit suggestions? In that case, if you want my opinion, then I suggest that you spend at least the next few weeks NOT buying anything. My recommendation is this, instead: just spend some time considering what it is that you like, what your budget is, and what types of clothing would be most practical for your lifestyle. Psychologically speaking, this is called the “preparation” stage of change readiness. Instead of jumping in, you just hang back for a moment (or a week, month, year) and work on*deciding.* You decide that at some time soon you are going to dress this exquisite body of yours as it is. You decide that in a few weeks you will make some time on your calendar and in your budget for some actual purchases. You decide that you’re (almost) ready. While some of you might read this and feel even more frustrated, others of you might appreciate the permission to back off of the effort, and my guess is that your feelings are an indication of where you stand in terms of your readiness.

Instead of actually shopping during this preparatory time, you’ll just window shop, either while you’re doing other errands or perhaps while you’re online, between visits to facebook. Window shopping is pretty straightforward if you’re doing it in person - just check out the mannequins in the windows of different boutiques and/or chains and make a mental note of outfits that interest you. If you prefer online, then a great way to do this is to go to the websites of some retailers and see if they have a “Look Book,” or “Looks We Love” type of page. Essentially, retailers create a place for you to window shop online by assembling whole outfits to browse. Ask yourself, “Do any of these outfits appeal to me and would they be practical for my life?” Bookmark pages that you like. Just to get you started, I’d suggest Boden, Land’s End Canvas, Talbots (just trust me), Eileen Fisher, Express (click “New Arrivals”), Ann Taylor, and LOFT. And just for kicks, you might even try Anthropologie (they don’t have a lookbook, though). Most of these tend to be more conservative and less edgy or artsy, but you’ll find a pretty good range of aesthetic approaches among them and may begin to get a sense for what’s new in terms of colors and silhouettes. Remember, you’re not buying, you’re just considering what’s appealing to you. We’re stylemammals, right? We’re trying to find our style instincts and what works for our real lives and our real bodies. It takes a little time, and you’ll find that time when you’re ready. Start by stopping, L.

An Easy Second Step

2012-01-20T07:14:00.002-05:00

Alrighty then, I know at least one person took my suggestion and put together the tee/sweater/scarf/skirt/tights combo from Wednesday. Anyone else out there care to share? Let us know how it went in the comments section or email a pic to stylemammal at gmail dot com. I'd love to see.

So, here's a second easy step - another outfit that can be put together with elements that are already in your closet. You've likely seen and may even own a "maxi dress." I got one at a thrift shop that happens to have a nice stretchy neck so I can nurse in it but in any case a superlong skirt will work just as well paired with anything on top (because it will be mostly covered by the jacket and scarf). I have a bunch of long skirts from the mid-90s, anyone else? I am surprised and glad that I kept them. Look at us, being super trendy with our long skirts from 20 years ago!

You can combine the superlong skirt or maxi with a jean jacket (hide layers underneath as needed), scarf, and boots for another easy, comfortable look. Let me be clear: I mean for you to wear the jean jacket in place of a sweater, NOT in place of your winter coat. Bonus points if your jean jacket is acid washed - just act like you intend for it to be retro. Don't forget the scarf, it helps tie everything together plus it's like 9 degrees out here. Renew the oldies, L.

What I Wore Wednesday - An Easy First Step!

2012-01-18T19:07:00.003-05:00

Long sleeved T-shirt - Michael Kors; graphic tee - H&M?; Green cardigan - Urban Outfitters; Scarf - Land's End Canvas; Black jersey skirt - Old Navy; tights - Hue; Silk Long Underwear - Land's End; Boots - Coach; Sunglasses - thrifted

Perhaps you are thinking: I do not know where to start with this style business. I made this outfit up for you, because I suspect you may already have your own versions of most of these pretty basic items in your closet. And if not, maybe you'll add some of these pieces to your shopping/thrifting list. It's a graphic t-shirt under a sweater with a scarf at the neck and a black skirt, tights, and boots. I have a long sleeved t-shirt layered under the short sleeved one, and long underwear under the tights, but that's because it's frzeezling here, if you know what I mean. If you live someplace warm, you might go with a very lightweight scarf, skip the hefty legwear, and choose flats instead . . . but not here. I would suggest not to worry about lengths of things and just pull the outfit together and see what comes of it. Pretty please, let me know if you give it a try! Take an easy first step, L.

Linking up with the Pleated Poppy blog

and Rae Gun Ramblings

Fear Factor

2012-01-15T21:03:00.000-05:00

Photo source: Sheyla Lopez Cintron

I recognize that it can be hard and even scary to consider trying new things or re-evaluating your appearance, especially if your identity is tied up in being Counter-culture or Different or Too Busy to Care or - I’ll just say it - Invisible. It’s ok, darling. You don’t have to change who you are to put on something other than fleece. You can move through the fear of feeling a little silly or like suddenly you're on stage and everyone is looking and judging (they aren’t). And you can just try it for one day. You can experiment. You can take a risk. You can do it because it’s for you and not for anyone else. You may even find that you are *more* yourself in apparel that is outside your old comfort zone, because maybe you’ve changed since you settled into that comfort zone. How many years ago was that, anyway? Was it high school? College? Pregnancy?

A case in point: When this blog got noticed on facebook, a local friend commented as follows: “while i'm not even slightly interested in the topic of clothing and fashion, i think it's awesome that you are getting such a nice response to the blog. if i *were* going to read a blog about style it would surely be yours.” And then she went on to clarify, “I was really just pointing out that I'm a schlump. As if it weren't obvious.” I replied that I didn’t think she was a schlump and was instead quite lovely. She asked if she could be a lovely schlump. Good question, and I think the answer is: Of course you can be a lovely schlump, you can and should be whatever makes you happy. The more interesting thing, though, is that she called me up the very next weekend and asked me to hit Marshall’s with her. So, maybe not so uninterested after all, hm?

We met at the store with one of her daughters and began shopping. I quickly got a sense for her preferences and wishes - not too warm, nothing too fussy, stretchy is good, no more basic long sleeve t-shirts. She referred a few times to “the new me,” which I gathered was a person who wore clothing that "actually fit" (as she put it) and who perhaps accepted an updated silhouette, but most importantly was ready to try something different. We found a pair of Calvin Klein ponte knit skinny pants in grey (you’ve seen them on me in black), and then she found a flowy grey cardigan and a lovely little patterned dress that looked great over leggings. None of the choices were over the top and all were maybe just a step away from her norm, but it was a departure nonetheless. And change - whether big or small - is change.

She was excited to wear the pants because they are crazy comfortable (seriously, go find a pair), and the sweater was the perfect length and style to pair with them. We agreed that before her debut she would replace her pink Uggs with the hole in the toe. In this weather, those pants really deserve boots. Plus, honestly -- when there’s a hole in the toe, if you can afford to replace your boots, then honey it’s time. Evidently she could not wait:

Apart from feeling really honored that she trusted me to assist and share in her style exploration, I just want to say that it was gratifying to feel like I might have inspired her to take a risk. And doesn’t she look fab? Just a teeny tiny risk - I promise it won’t hurt a bit, L.

Showdown at the Discount Corral

2012-01-11T08:08:00.003-05:00

The other day I had an experience in TJ Maxx to which, I figure, at least some people will relate. I. Was. Not. Even. In. There. For. Boots. I merely peeked at the clearance section and lo, behold an unbelievable pair of black Coach boots. They were gorgeous. They were my size. There were no others like them to be seen. For Coach boots and the quality that goes with ‘em, they were a major bargain. And, it’s true: I do not own tall black boots.

Obvious answer, right?

Not obvious. The boots were just an inch or so too tall for my liking -- making them a bit too equestrian, if you know what I mean. They came to just under my knee. I wore them all over the store so I could talk myself out of them. Oh my, they felt kind of like slippers. I asked another gal in the clearance aisle, and she said I should go for it. I asked the employee at the dressing room, who at least acknowledged that the boots might be too tall for me, but then said they looked good and pairing with black or dark denim would be fine. I texted a pic to two friends. Got a positive response from one of them (the other wasn’t home). And then it came down to me versus the bargain. Well, actually it was just me versus me. My shoulders were all pinched up.

It’s the thrill of the bargain, the imperative to Decide Now, and the fear of losing a big score that fuels this fire. Do I let myself be swayed by the bargain, buying the item that I stumbled upon (as opposed to the item I researched, read all the reviews for, determined were the right ones, waited for the sale, and bought at just the right moment) or do I continue to pursue the fantasy and my long hunt for the perfect, not-too-tall, tall black boots?

I have felt this conflict before, and thinking “I just cannot leave that item behind in the store,” I’ve given in to the bargain thrill only to find myself unhappy with the purchase later. I also have felt the tug before and walked away, feeling my shoulders relax as I hit the parking lot (or logged off the website). I tried to channel both feelings and then decide.

The generous return policy carried the day and I took the boots home. Tried them on with a few different outfits, let go of the fantasy of perfect boots, and felt my shoulders relax. Shop stores with a good return policy, L.


Stretchy t-shirt - Revolve; Sweater - Cynthia Rowley; Ponte knit pants - Calvin Klein; Boots - Coach; Long Underwear - EMS

Linking up once again with the Pleated Poppy

and Rae Gun Ramblings

Easy Come, Easy Go & My Fave New Item

2012-01-10T09:53:00.001-05:00

Sorry about the terrible lighting! Black Stretchy long sleeve tshirt - Revolve; eggplant knit top - Ann Taylor; Cardigan Vest - Classiques Entier; Jeans - DKNY; Engineer Boots - Target; Scarf - mom

Here’s where I get crazy zen on you. About jewelry, but really about anything. Last week my husband got fed up with our “Everyday Bin,” which is the bin in our mudroom where we’re *supposed* to stash our keys and phones and such as we walk in the door. Of course you know what ends up happening with drawers and bins like that: we just chuck every random thing in there until it is overflowing and we can no longer find our keys anywhere because we left them on the counter because the bin was too full. So we cleaned out the bin. Included in our bonanza were 10 lipglosses, a bunch of stamps, 3 screwdrivers, an upended bottle of homeopathic allergy remedy, an upended container of Rescue Remedy pastilles, a lot of sunglasses, 2 necklaces, and then. Then I saw a little treasure that my mother-in-law had brought on one of her visits here, which my husband and I had both ridiculed a bit before relegating it to the purgatory of the bin: his chunky, gold-toned, engraved, Speidel ID bracelet from waaaaaay back in the 80s. Am I dating myself? Those babies were so IN, right? Suddenly, it hit me - that would be so awesome on ME. I had the little darling shortened and now I just smile when I see it on my wrist. I love to wear jewelry that has meaning to me, and this one just sort of appeared. Easy come.

Meanwhile. Most of the time, on my ring finger, I wear my simple gold wedding band plus two more - those of my grandmother and her mother. Three thin, plain gold bands. I love how it looks and I love how it feels. I always make sure to wear my ring on top because it fits me the best and I don’t want the others to fall off. Except yesterday I mixed them up. And, of course, I lost one. I was typing something when I looked at my finger and was startled to find one of the rings gone. It’s so gone. I am sad, but I can let go. It had more meaning to me than most items I own, but it is just an item. I’ll call around to places I went last night, but I’m not going to lose sleep over it. Easy go.Wear things that make you smile, and set them free when they need to go, L.

Parallel Style Universe

2012-01-08T20:37:00.003-05:00

I love leopard print and I'm OK!

photo © Erika Mlejova for openphoto.net CC:NonCommercial-ShareAlike

The tagline for this blog alludes to the casual style and seeming community-wide acceptance of comfort as *the* style priority in the area where I live. Part of what is so appealing to me about this place is a prevailing sense of modesty and lack of focus on appearance. I find myself fascinated by this place and its unfancy-ness. Fascinated partly because of what seems to be a wish to “opt out” of engaging in or buying into current stylistic themes and motifs, but meanwhile supporting the tide of local creative expression, from artisinal breads and coffees to craft fairs to high-end galleries. As if to say, “we don’t care about the exterior as much as the interior.” I really dig that. I understand the wish to opt out out all too well. And it can feel easier not to try, than to risk feeling like you might be doing it wrong.

Recently I visited my hometown, a place I remember well for making me feel I never measured up in terms of my appearance. It was a tricky place for me to be a kid – my parents were very keen on frugality and modesty, while many of the families around us had opposite priorities. Anyway, a friend of mine still lives there and is now raising her family there, and we had an interesting time comparing stay-at-home-mom notes. Where she lives, makeup and heels and expensive clothes are de rigeur for the average mom doing school dropoff or book sale planning, while in my town it’s more common to see sweatshirts and sneakers (or Keenes, Merrills, Wolkies, Danskos, Clarks, or other pricey but high-value comfort shoes). Here, one can get away with a certain amount of effortless style, but for those of us to whom it does not come naturally, the effort stands out, and perhaps is even a little embarrassing. In fact, my friend had a hard time understanding what was making me feel so sheepish about having a blog about style until I explained the sense here that it’s almost immodest in itself to care about appearance. And damn, I love that about my town.

BUT STILL. I also love caring about how I show up for my day and it really, deeply makes me happy to feel I’m dressed and ready for anything. Yes, even if nothing much ever happens. So, there you go. I’m going to go on caring, overdressing, and droning on endlessly about boots and color because, darn it, the bottom line is it makes me happy. And, to spare my loved ones the irritation of having to listen to me, I’m putting it out there in this blog. You’re welcome. Dress for your own bottom line, L.

The “Hold It Up” Test

2012-01-06T13:37:00.001-05:00

It was fun last week to (re)discover brown, and to learn that I’m more flattered by golden browns than grey browns. I found that it’s hard to say definitively which colors are warm and which are cool; sometimes I look at a purple and feel it’s a warmer purple. It turns out there's a reason . . . A-HA!!!

You can see that reds range from purple-ish to orange-y based on how much blue or yellow are in them. You can find a green that’s very cool with lots of blue in it and one that’s warmer with much more yellow. My mother is an artist and when I asked her how to tell whether a color is warmer or cooler, she said that it was something you had to see. What a stylemammal way to think of things! I am learning to trust my eye and tune into my instincts about what works for me, and encouraging you to do the same.

So let’s talk navy, because it’s a good platform for this discussion of trusting your instincts. Previously, I’d assumed that navy was a good tone for me because I have blue eyes; I’d always considered it kind of a no-brainer. I never really looked, just assumed. But then as you know I began reading about color and discovered that navy can be a little of a downer color on some people with certain coloring . . . certain people like me. It got me curious. So I did the one test I know works (but frequently forget to do): the Hold It Up Test. I held up a variety of navy toned items under my chin and assessed whether my eye was drawn to look down at the fabric or up at my face. Wouldn’t ya know it, “navy” can mean a lot of things. Some shades made my face glow and eyes sparkle, and others made me look more sallow and tired. I now think that the darker navies bring me down (kind of like black does), while brighter navy tones make my eyes stand out more. Here are a couple of examples of different navies.

These shades of Navy are moderately flattering. Purple Stretchy Shirt - Revolve; Navy patterned blouse - thrifted; navy cardigan - Target; jeans - Calvin Klein; Long Underwear - Land's End; Boots - Frye; scarf - from Grandma

The dark navy scarf (American Eagle Outfitters) reads as black, not as flattering *and* my eye looks immediately to the scarf, not to my face. Stretchy tank - Jockey; Navy tunic - Eileen Fisher sidewalk sae; Vest - LOFT; black pin wale corduroys - Converse One Star; Long Underwear - Land's End; Engineer Boots - Target

Without the scarf and vest, I love what this bright navy blue shade does for me. Oh well, too bad it's cold!

Have you ever tried the Hold It Up Test? Let me know how it goes! Trust your eye, L.

What I Wore Wednesday* - Baby It's Cold Inside

2012-01-04T19:30:00.002-05:00


Not going much above 65 degrees inside the house! Adding lots of layers. Hat - Calvin Klein; Scarf - from Grandma; Grey long sleeve stretchy T - Revolve (yay I got two new ones); Rusty maroon cowl neck t - Sanctuary; Cashmere sweater - Qi; Grey jeans - Joe's; Cognac boots - Franco Sarto; Silk Long Underwear - Land's End

This outfit *was* only grey and rusty/maroon-y browns, but then it was just too cold and I needed a hat and sweater, so black was added to the palette. Speaking of palettes, I have never before paired grey with cognac but here is some inspiration from wearpalettes.com that made me feel it would be ok. Ever need suggestions as to what goes with what? Check out the wear palettes blog - you can search by color! Consider the palette, L.

*What I Wore Wednesday is a link up party at the Pleated Poppy. Go visit! I'm #215.I'm also linking at Rae Gun Ramblings

Why Bother and How Bother - featuring Naomi!

2012-01-03T12:30:00.000-05:00

Sweater-thrifted; layering turtleneck underneath it- J Crew, thrifted; Bandolino, thrifted (they are very tight and stretchy; I only wear them with tunic-length tops); Boots - Frye Campus 14, Zappos. A big splurge. Necklace - local boutique/sidewalk sale

Everyone, I'm pleased to introduce you to Naomi! She's a local mom of two and freelance writer. But most importantly for our purposes, she has great style. I was curious to hear her responses to the Why Bother/How Bother questions. Hope you enjoy and maybe catch a tip or two! If you'd like to read Naomi's work or contact her, please visit naomishulman.com.

Why do you bother to pay attention to your clothing choices?

There are all sorts of reasons, but to put it very simply, I enjoy it. I take pleasure in choosing clothes and coming up with an outfit that makes me feel good. I also truly enjoy seeing nice outfits on other people -- I'm always noticing what other people around me wear, and often my outfits are directly influenced by something I've admired on someone else. When I feel good in my clothes I feel a little more confident in the world, hackneyed as that sounds. When I was younger I used to see clothes as an outfit for creativity and expression. My outfits would vary widely from day to day depending on what mood I wanted to project. Since having kids, I'm far more likely to stick to something comfortable and easy to wear, but I still want to look sharp and to feel good.

What are your top priorities for how you dress?

Comfort is way up there -- far higher than it used to be before I had children. I don't have the patience for a garment that requires me to fuss with it. There are entire categories of clothing that I basically refuse to deal with anymore (button-down shirts are among these). But if it were only about comfort, I'd wear yoga pants and t-shirts everywhere and call it a day, so it's not just about that. I want my clothes to say something positive about me. I want to look the way I feel (or, at the very least, the way I want to seem). I try to wear clothes that are appropriate for whatever I'm doing that day but also have a little personality, a little spark of something interesting.

What colors or textures bring you the most joy to wear?

For some reason, I adore red shoes. I have several pairs -- clogs, sandals, even a pair of red boots (they were my 40th birthday present to myself). I think of red as a neutral color that can be worn with anything, but I almost always restrict it to an accent piece. Otherwise, I tend to stick to the same swatch of colors -- aqua blue, brown, maroon, and of course, black. I'm not really certain they're the most flattering colors for me, but they're the ones I gravitate toward, and my sense is that if I like the way they look on me, they're probably good colors for me.

How much time do you spend on self care each day/week/month?

Well, when I'm exercising regularly, it's three times a week for an hour a pop. (I haven't been exercising regularly lately, but I will again soon.) I also get my hair cut and colored professionally -- a splurge, but an entirely worthwhile one for me. My hair is reddish blond and quite curly, so it tends to be noticed; I want it to look nice without taking a lot of maintenance, which is best achieved via regular trims. I used to blow out my hair every morning. After kids, those days are gone, so my hair needs to look good with a drip dry. As for makeup, I refuse to spend more than 5 minutes on grooming every day -- I moisturize my skin very faithfully (with sunscreen), then wear light powder, undereye concealer, brown mascara, eyebrow pencil, a little blush. This may sound like a lot but I get this done in no time. My friend sells makeup products, so that's where my cosmetics come from these days; otherwise I've always bought my products at the drugstore. My other big self-care indulgence is a standing acupuncture appointment. I see my acupuncturist about once a month. It helps me keep my batteries charged.

Where do you find inspiration for how you dress? (Could be a blog, magazine, another person, season, mood, etc.)

Most of my inspiration comes from my friends, actually. I like my friends' taste in clothing and often get ideas about from them a new way to wear something, especially in terms of accessories. Back in the olden days (before I had kids) I used to love reading fashion magazines -- it was one of my guiltiest pleasures -- but I no longer find them interesting. I find outfits I see in real life far more compelling. I suppose that's partly a function of age, but I think it's also that I'm not really so much into fashion as I'm into style, and the people I see in real life embody style (whereas magazines are really about fashion trends).

Where do you find the time?

I don't feel like it takes me a lot of time! I never spend more than a few minutes getting dressed unless I'm doing something unusual that day. There are those days where nothing in my closet seems to flatter or fit right, so those days can be frustrating, but even then I'm usually finished getting dressed in under ten minutes. The closet might be left in significant disarray, however. I guess the biggest time investment I make would be the regular visits to the thrift shops -- I go at least once a week, often more. I prefer to buy used clothing because it's cheaper, of course, but I also get a little kick out of finding something great in a sea of not-great. Some of my favorite, most-complimented garments are from thrift stores.

How do you know what looks good on you?

Well, I've been consciously tweaking my style and clothing options since I was in my early teens, so I think at this point I mostly have a sense of what styles work on me. There are certain things I simply never wear because I know they're unflattering on me -- I usually avoid sleeveless tank dresses, for example. Sometimes a friend will point out something that I would never have considered, and that can be a nice revelation -- a new piece of style information to work with. So clearly there's more to discover. A close friend of mine is a closet consultant, and she gave me a lot of tips years ago on what's the most flattering for my particular shape and coloring.

How would you describe your current style?

I would say my current style is essentially practical (nothing outrageous about it), but with a little bit of a twist. Lots of jeans, boots and sweaters this time of year. I occasionally veer out of my comfort zone a little bit. A couple years ago I got a leather jacket with an outrageous fake fur muff, and the first time I wore it I was worried that it was wearing me -- but I got so many compliments on it that I was encouraged to keep playing around with it, to see what worked with it and what didn't. I buy almost everything from thrift stores these days, which gives my wardrobe an overall bohemian edge, I think -- and I like that.

Do you feel it is evolving? Why or why not?

It's definitely evolving -- has been for decades now. Twenty years ago I experimented more; now I have a stronger sense of what works on me, so the day-to-day outfits tend to stay in the same general neighborhood. There are things I wear today that I would never have worn before I had kids, and vice versa. Again, I think a big part of that is age -- 40-year-olds don't dress the way 20-year-olds do (thankfully). But it's also that my life is just very different now and my clothing choices have had to adjust accordingly. I used to live in New York City; I used to work in an office. Now I am a country mouse and a work-at-home mama. My life has been evolving, and my closet has had to evolve along with it.

How well do you think it works with your lifestyle?

It works very well, for the most part. One thing I'd like to do is make a point of wearing more skirts and dresses in the winter. I live in skirts all summer, but once it gets cold out, wearing tights can feel like a bother, so I stick to jeans -- and then I get bored. I miss the pleasure of stepping it up a little bit, wardrobe-wise. A winter-weight skirt worn with funky boots, tights, and a cute sweater is one of my favorite outfits, but because I work from home I don't always make the extra effort to do this.

How do you feel about trends?

I am less interested in trends today than I used to be, but I still notice them. Sometimes I will jump on board, and other times I skip them altogether. I love fingerless gloves, infinity scarves, skinny jeans tucked in boots. But you'll never see me in a pair of Uggs, no matter how popular they are (were? I think they're on the way out, finally). I don't find them flattering on me, or anyone, really -- and comfort only goes so far with me. I don't want to appear dated, ever, but nor do I wish to seem like a slave to the trends. (There's really no danger of that these days.)

Dear readers, I know you'll be excited to hear that Naomi will be guest-posting articles here on her beloved art of thrifting. Look out for more from her soon! xo, L.

Celebrate and Sing

2011-12-31T13:25:00.000-05:00

Off White Stretchy Shirt - Revolve (is it time for some new ones yet?); Offwhite/purple/grey/black patterned top - Caslon via thriftshop; Grey sweater - Patagonia via local boutique; belt - target; purple scarf - no idea; Jeans - DKNY; boots - Rieker; green flower pin - local art museum store

Walt Whitman wrote, "I celebrate myself, and sing myself..."
Sometimes there are stretches of time that are simply more stressful, and during those times I find it helps to turn up the joy factor in whatever small way I can - if I can't exercise as much as I'd like then I try to feed myself better and go to bed earlier; if I can't meditate then I try to stay more present in whatever I'm doing. It has been a long few weeks here, with my daughter's birthday, school vacation, my husband being extremely busy, and all of us experiencing the loss of a family matriarch. This blog has been a little respite for me, and I think the reason is this: it's a celebration of self. I'm caring for myself, encouraging others to care for themselves, and pursuing an independent interest.

One of the things I miss the most about working is the way that gratitude was built into the experience. I got yearly (or more frequent) reviews, perhaps a favorable disposition on a case, and at the very least, there were a number of times each day that I'd get a "thank you," even if it was just for holding the elevator for someone. Now it's just so much easier for the work I do each day, all day, to fade into the background. Without veering too far toward indulging the ego, I do think that one's day is far easier when there is some recognition for one's effort. So what am I to do? I am to celebrate myself and sing myself and show gratitude to myself. Heck, it's New Years Eve, let's make it a resolution, shall we? Celebrate yourself, sing yourself, L.

Black, Brown, Belt & Boots

2011-12-30T20:02:00.001-05:00

Red stretchy undershirt - Revolve; Brown dress - Max Studio via consignment; Black sweater - Talbots via Marshall's; fleece lined leggings - Plush; tights & socks - no idea; brown booties - Rieker

For those of you who are new here, I'm exploring the land of color theory. First up this week we have the idea of choosing clothing colors that align with your skin tone; specifically, choosing clothing with warm undertones for those with yellow-based skin and choosing clothing with cooler undertones for those with blue/pink-based skin. In case you can't tell, I'm a total novice at this concept and hope I'm not confusing anyone further. In any case, I'm out of clothing items in the red-orange-yellow color family and before I start exploring what it means for a color like blue to be yellow-toned, I thought I'd just mix some neutrals and see if I could get a nice effect. Many of you have probably heard a rule against mixing black and brown but I think it works just fine if you're intentional about it. If I had a scarf with a touch of black in it, that would have been a good move to bridge the darkness of the sweater. As it stands, though, I do like the outcome AND I am struck by how dark the black sweater suddenly looks against my coloring now that it's been a few days of reds and browns. This has been an interesting experiment so far and I am feeling increasingly convinced that warmer tones are more flattering on me, and that darker tones like black or super darkwash jeans can still act as a strong accent or anchor while keeping the yellow-tones close to my face. I am curious, though, to start looking into other colors.

A word or two about the dress: First, nursing in a dress: the drawstring at the neck is what allows me to nurse in it. If you are looking into wearing dresses as a nursing mom, stretchier materials are your friend but so may be drawstrings, wrap-fronts or other v-necks. And that's not to mention specialty nursing dresses with a little flap that pulls up. Second, warmth: no need to worry about staying warm on dress days - just layer like crazy. As you know I swear by silk long underwear but I also really love fleece lined leggings. I don't really worry about adding bulk; I worry more about being cold when outside with the kids for extended periods (they are practically in t-shirts running around while I follow slowly after, toting the snacks & diapers).

This week the kids are both home with me and my spouse has been working long hours, leaving me with less time to plan outfits ahead of time. And that's why things like this happen, oh my my my:

With a belt and booties, it's just too easy to be mistaken for one of Santa's elves at this time of year, eh? Thank goodness the black sweater, although not very clean, was still available. Mix up the neutrals, L.

Warm Colors Day 3

2011-12-29T13:47:00.000-05:00

Black stretchy tank - Revolve; Red & gold Necklace/lariat - local art museum store; Red button down - JCrew (from about 15 years ago); Brown Sweater - Marisa Christina via Marshall's; Jeans - Joe's high waisted skinny via Ode; Cognac boots - Franco Sarto via Marshall's; Land's End silk long underwear

Goodness, I really had to go digging for some warm-toned clothing. I suppose this is an argument for binning up unworn clothing as opposed to donating or consigning right away. I can see reasons for going either way, at least partially depending on how much room for storage you have.

I'm not sure I hit the mark with this outfit. Although the shirt is red, I paired it with a cooler brown sweater (because that's what I have) and very dark blue jeans (because they feel like pajamas and I love them). I am hoping that repeating the warmer cognac in the belt and boots made the overall appearance a warmer one. How'd I do? As I peer through the pics from the last month (the blog is a month old tomorrow!), I think warm tones are an improvement for me. Go figure - I may have to rethink all the black, navy, & grey in the closet. Consider remixing the oldies, L.

What I Wore Wednesday* - warm colors experiment

2011-12-28T12:47:00.002-05:00

Stretchy Long Sleeve off-white top - Revolve; Green short sleeve knit hoodie - H&M; Brown Jacket - Jones NY; Jeans - DKNY; Booties - Rieker; Wood necklace and bracelet - from Grandma

This blog is about trying to discover style instincts and one way I am going about it is to give some thought to color and its effect on the wearer. Having noticed that my skin tone is on the yellower side, I am trying to dress in colors with a yellow or red undertone (as opposed to blue). Here is day 2 of warmer colors. I find it challenging trying to distinguish between colors that are "warm," as in yellow-based, and colors that are merely autumnal, like brown, green, orange, or red (all of which can range from warm to cool). I think the green hoodie I have on today actually is a pretty muted, cool green, while the jacket is a deep warm brown. Over the next couple of days I'll try to find yellower, brighter blues and purples in my closet, to see what effect they have.

In terms of result, I'm considering outward appearance as well as internal effect. On the outside, I think the warmer browns lend a cohesive effect to the overall statement, because of my skin and hair tones. That's interesting to see! I had almost entirely stopped wearing browns and had tended toward black and grey as my go-to neutrals. After all, they look so good - well, on other people. And how about internally? Well, it is nice to look down and see a warm tone as opposed to cooler black, grey, or navy. And if I am missing the black and grey it may be simply because I love certain items themselves and not because I just loooooove black and grey. What about you? Going to try something new?
Dress experimentally, L.
*What I Wore Wednesday is a link-up party on The Pleated Poppy blog. Check it out! I'm #50.

Are You Warmer or Cooler?

2011-12-27T13:38:00.001-05:00

Off-white, long-sleeved stretchy undershirt - Revolve; Eggplant knit top - Ann Taylor; Brown puffer vest - Old Navy; Scarf - Target?; Corduroys - Calvin Klein; Boots - Ugg; brand new Land's End silk long underwear - thanks mom for the Chanukah gift!

I've been diving into color theory a bit, and here's what I've found. Apparently, certain color palettes are more flattering on certain skin tones. This, my dears, is why it usually turns out wrong when I try to copy other people's outfits that look so good on *them.* With the disclaimer that YES, you can wear whatever color makes you happy, no judgment here, let's just explore this as a concept. Step one has been figuring out whether I have "cool" or "warm" skin tone. Here is the theory: cooler, more blue-based skin tones (including many olive or darker skin shades) are more flattered by cooler colors, while warmer, more yellow-based skin tones are more flattered by warmer hues. I'm still not sure I have it right, but I arrived at my best guess by putting my wrist up next to a few people's wrists and looking to see if I looked relatively yellow or relatively pinkish/bluish. Maybe you can tell from the pictures but for some reason, I cannot. I will tell you that it was pretty obvious when I put my wrist next to my sister's that she was pink/blue and I was considerably more yellow. Who knew? All along I'd thought that we had the same coloring. So I'm going to give it a shot. This week I am going to try wearing warmer tones in general but especially close to my face.

In today's pic the eggplant knit top and brown corduroys are both on the cooler side but I chose a deep warm brown puffer vest and warm-toned scarf so it might all read a little warmer. This is an experiment, and I'm limited by the clothing I have, right? Plus, I really love that eggplant top. We'll see how it goes. I also invested a couple of bucks into a new Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer in Caramel, a shade I would never ever have thought to try. I always go for more pink, red, or wine tones, but whaddaya know, the caramel makes my eyes look a little brighter and my skin a little warmer. Can you tell?

Listen for your own tones, L.

Style Rule #1 - Dress Your Personality

2011-12-25T16:35:00.001-05:00

After a relaxing day of birthday party + travel: Stretch tank top - Revolve; Blue oxford - Land's End Canvas; Sweater - Bass via Consignment Shop; Scarf - Art Museum Shop; Jeans - Calvin Klein via Marshall's; Houseboots - UGG

So I got my first reader question - I couldn't be more excited! - about skinny jeans and whether they are compatible with the What Not To Wear* rule about always elongating the legline. You can read my response in the Comments section of the post here but what struck me was that the origin of the question was about rules. I think some rules can be a help, for example: Get Properly Measured for a Bra, and Buy Clothing that Fits the Largest Part of You and then Tailor Accordingly. I'm sure I'll write more about those rules eventually, since they are cornerstone considerations for feeling good in your clothing. But other rules, like Thou Shalt Wear a Wrap Dress (to accentuate the narrowest part of the waist) or Thou Shalt Wear Straight Leg Jeans (to best elongate the legline) can be, I think, too constraining sometimes. In fact, I think if you are a WNTW devotee you may have noticed that they don't really do a "rules" segment anymore as much as they show the participant three different looks that might work better for them than what they'd been wearing for casual, work, and evening. I think there may be something to the switch away from rules.

Still, as I said, some rules can be good! Like this one: Dress Your Outside to Match Your Inside. I did not make this idea up; I have seen it articulated a zillion times on WNTW. I love it because it's inspirational and anyone can do it. So if you feel that you are a cheerful, fun person, you can try to incorporate that attitude in the pieces you choose to wear. If you think of yourself as approachable and smart - same thing. Romantic or super-feminine? A little counter-culture? Androgynous? Rockstar genius? Charming geek? Sporty spice? Whatever it is, I love the idea of using your clothing and accessories to broadcast your happiest notions of yourself. The first step in getting there, though, is to consider what you think are the best parts of your personality. That's right: Consider. Yourself. Ever thought about style this way? Even though I've heard them say it on WNTW, it's a different thing to take the message to heart. Someone called this a "fashion blog," and I stopped for a minute and thought, "No." This is not a fashion blog, it's a style blog. It's about my fairly new interest in tuning in to what I like and what looks good on me and what makes me feel my best. It's not necessarily about trend, nor is it dictated by the fashion of the day.

So what's my style? I would say right now my style is confident and smart, maybe a little reserved. These things are true about me, but I have to wonder: do I dress as warm and joyful and approachable as I would want to project? Hm, maybe not. I think perhaps sometimes I overstyle and convey something less than approachable. Maybe that's something to work on. Come along with me? :) Dress from the inside out, L.

*"What Not To Wear" is a reality makeover show that began in the UK and is currently airing on The Learning Channel (TLC). Neither I, nor my blog, have any connection to this show whatsoever.

Why Bother & How Bother?

2011-12-22T19:09:00.001-05:00

Purple flowy top - Eileen Fisher (sample sale); Grey sweatshirt moto cardigan - Greylin via Ode; DKNY jeans; Boots - Franco Sarto via Marshall's; Scarf - Target, I think

I intend to turn this into a series of interviews withreal live women in which we explore why we bother to pay attention to style andhow we make the time to do so. I’ll go first, okay?

Why do you bother to pay attention to your clothing choices?

I believe that we project outward what we feel inward! When I amwearing favorite colors, textures, and sentimental jewelry, I feel more confident, powerful, and joyful. Also, as a stay at home parent, so much of my day centers around other people; it makes abig difference to send a message to myself and to the world that I am deservingof a little self-care each day.

What are your top priorities for howyou dress?

Comfort (including warmth and the ability to walk to town inmy shoes), practicality, neat appearance, and flattering silhouette.

What colors or textures bring you the most joy to wear?

Deep colors make me happy to lookat. I love to wear interestingknits or detailed tops. It’s beena slow process building a wardrobe that accounts for these things where beforeI really valued quantity over quality and often bought things that looked good on other people instead of tuning into what looked good on me.

How much time do you spend on self care eachday/week/month? 30-45 minutes of exercise mostdays of the week, plus a 5 minute shower and 10 min to get dressed and a littlemakeup. Each week I try to take anhour* on the weekend to compose 5-6 outfits that I can quickly choose from eachday depending on the weather and what I’ll be doing that day. Each month I try to give a little extratime to my skin, usually in the form of a home facial.

Where do you find inspiration for how you dress? (Could be a blog, magazine, anotherperson, season, mood, etc.)

I read a lot of style blogs and also love to check out what the college kids are wearing (we live in a college town) and consider how it can translate into something practical for me.

Where do you find the time?

I’m a streamliner and I like to come up with routines that work for me. The more I learn about what shapes, colors, textures, and styleswork for me and my lifestyle, the less time I ultimately have to spend on“getting ready.” What I find most useful is to take some time over the weekend to check the week's forecast and select several outfitsthat could work, try them on to make sure, and then fold them up neatly in apile in the corner. I enjoy the(brief) time to myself and the investment I am making for the week. This way, whether I’ve had a chance toshower or not, I will feel most confident when walking out the door. Speaking of showering, I shower and dress right away most days unless I amgoing to workout. This oftenmeans that if my workout is during naptime, I will need a second shower sansshampoo. I'm quick in the shower, and don't do much to my hair, so I don't mind.

As for streamlining, the same goes for my makeuproutine. The more I learn aboutwhat works on my skin and gives the effect I want, the less time it takes. On an average day, it’s just Kiehl's tintedmoisturizer with spf, Nars blush, Urban Decay eyelid primer (instead of shadow), Diorshow mascara, and Burt's Bees tinted lip balm. 2minutes, tops.

Time spent on myself, even during a busy morning, hasexponential payoff in terms of my mood. Therefore, for me it’s been worth learning how to maximize the time Ispend to get the look I want.

*EDITED TO NOTE REALITY CHECK: I haven't had this beloved hour to myself since I wrote this post.

What I Wore Wednesday

2011-12-20T19:19:00.001-05:00

So there's this blog called the Pleated Poppy that I stumbled across a while back, and the blogger, Lindsay, had this idea to encourage herself and others (if they were so inclined) to leave the sweats behind and actually get dressed. So in addition to blogging about her life as a mother, homeschooler, crafter, etc., she has a weekly post entitled What I Wore Wednesday where she shows what she wore all week and allows other bloggers to link up as an act of community support. Some people show a week of outfits, some just link up to a single oufit pic or blog post for that day. I have wanted to be a part of this for soooo long. Here goes. Dress with your friends, L.

p.s., do go check out Lindsay's blog, it's terrific and so are the items she sells through her shop. Last year I gave her zippered pouches as teacher gifts, and I use one myself every day in my purse (to hold diapers & wipes). Mon, Tues, and Weds of this week I made some effort to use a belt, as you can see!

Monday - Lotsa Layers: Hidden grey long sleeved tshirt and brown cashmere sweater (you can just see a bit of grey sleeve peeking out) - local consignment shop; Off-white grandpa cardigan - different local consignment shop; animal print scarf - Marshall's; tie-dye brown/white dress - local boutique; brown tights over leggings over long underwear - mostly Marshalls; boots - La Canadienne via Lord & Taylor; Belt - Target

Tuesday - First Outdoor Pic! Silky tank - Jockey, Green Cowl Neck shirt - Land's End; Navy Cardigan - Target; Belt - came with a pair of shorts sometime ago; Jeans - Joes; Long Underwear - Land's End; Boots - Sofft

Wednesday - Not Enough Color on a Grey Day! Off White Tank - Revolve; Off White knit top - Ann Taylor; Sweater - Talbots; Jeans - Cambio via consignment shop; Boots - Timberland

Better! Swapped the black knit-tie belt that came with the sweater for a cognac one, changed black straightleg jeans for bootcut blue jeans (DKNY via local consignment shop) and changed black Timberlands for cognac shiny shiny heeled booties by Alba Moda

Stylemammal Goes Out

2011-12-16T19:42:00.000-05:00

Black long sleeved t-shirt - Kenneth Cole via Marshall's; merlot sweater vest - Nordstrom; Little black sleeveless dress - Isda & Co via local boutique; tights over Plush fleece lined leggings; booties - Indigo by Clarks via Marshall's; belt - thrifted; necklace - local artist

This never ever happens but I actually went out with my husband to his company holiday party. We left after the kids were in bed, which meant we weren't out long before I was wiped out. But we were out nonetheless.

The location of the event was a casual banquet room and I really didn't want to go overboard, but meanwhile I did want to feel a little festive! So I did just a little dash of dressy by swapping out my everyday accessories for dressier ones. This outfit is my average day wear but instead of shearling-lined boots I'm wearing heeled booties and instead of a scarf I chose a gold chain necklace. Plus, I added the belt.

Let's discuss. I had a huge fear of belts before diving into this new style fascination. I was nervous to try it out, and I remember my husband telling me he thought I looked weird the first time I wore one over a cardigan. But it's a funny thing - the more you see something, the more normalized it becomes. These days I can show him an outfit with and without a belt and he will often say he prefers the belted look. Still, when you use a belt other than to hold up your pants, I think it does appear that you made an effort to intentionally style your outfit. On an average day, that might make you feel a little overdressed, but honestly I'm usually overdressed and I'm okay with that - maybe you can be, too. If you can get past feeling too "fancy," or if fancy is where you're aiming, a belt can hit just the right note.

There are many ways to wear belts and your choices might depend on the occasion, the outfit, and your shape. Belts come in a variety of widths (I prefer thicker ones on me) and materials (I tend to prefer woven or soft leather). You can wear them over all your layers to create shape, or just over the first one with a sweater on top to create a focal point at your middle (implying shape without creating it).

I have a number of knit sweaters that have accompanying knit belts, but I generally remove them and use an actual belt because they tend not to have enough heft for my curvy shape. The sweater I'm wearing in the picture came with a knit tie in the same color and had little teeny belt loops to guide the tie through, but it made the sweater bunch all wrong and then the tie just hung in kind of a sad bow from my middle. No good. So I chose a suede burgundy belt in a shade similar to the sweater - the tone-on-tone color combo (they are actually much closer in hue than the pic suggests) make both look intentional and coordinated against the black base items. Plus, the nice thick leather accent creates shape in what would otherwise have been a pretty rectangular outfit. And finally, I chose to belt pretty high up, just above my natural waist, because of the way (stay with me here) it implies that my legs are longer. I have a long-ish torso and petite legs, so a higher belt helps to balance everything out. Think you might try a belt? Have a question about that? I can't promise I have all the answers, but I'll try! Dress up with accessories (and consider a belt), L.

Inspiration Station

2011-12-16T13:24:00.004-05:00

You may have your own feelings about Eileen Fisher, but I am in love with this little video from their website. It shows four EF employees - real women! - of different shapes, colors, and sizes starting with a different base layer and basically trading layering items from one to the next. Here's the video link. I also love their "Meet the Tipsters" page. Enjoy.

Not Always Quite Right

2011-12-15T18:59:00.001-05:00


Turtleneck, Sweatshirt, Corduroy Skirt - Land's End Canvas; Tights over fleece-lined leggings -Plush; Boots - North Face via Clarks

Something(s) about today's choice didn't sit well. It happens. First of all, I wasn't about to deal with a slip, so the skirt was kind of clingy all day even though it was comfortable. But I thought the boots would connect the brown sweatshirt toggles with the cognac skirt -- not so. Not only are they not cohesive but that white faux shearling at the top of the boots really broke up the legline, didn't it. Now that I see it all in a photo, I'm not pleased. So I put on a few other options to see if something else might have been better, for future reference.

Somehow I like this a little better because the boots, although they have that same contrast-y faux shearling at the top, read as more preppy and therefore don't seem to compete with the outfit.

On paper, these black ones would have been the best bet because they create no contrast against the black tights (over long underwear) and allow a single color legline. But somehow I think I like the second boots the best. Oh well, not perfect but a good effort. Dress "oh well, I tried," L.

What to Wear to the Doctor

2011-12-14T18:42:00.000-05:00

This morning was spent at home, which meant extra nursing (my son seems to nurse more when we're just hanging around). Two things I knew were on the agenda for the afternoon: my doctor's appointment and multi-stop shopping with my older child. Here's how that played out: Flat, warm, comfy boots (Rieker via Onlineshoes.com); Silk long underwear bottoms (Land's End) under black ponte knit pants (Calvin Klein via Marshall's); silky tank top (Jockey); Grey long sleeve t-shirt (Gap); purple empire waist sweater dress (H&M); Grey button down sweater (Patagonia via local boutique). Oh, and the scarf that works with nearly everything I own. I don't recall where I got it, though.

Here's why the outfit worked: a morning of extra nursing means I need to be able to easily pull up whatever tops I have on, except of course for the tank top. Case in point ... yesterday I was nursing my son at the local parents' center (like a community playspace for young kids) and when I got up, whoops, my shirt was still up enough to expose my middle, but my silky Jockey tank saved the day. I did some extra layering today to make sure I had a nice warm sweater on top of everything else because I knew - I JUST KNEW - I'd be sitting mostly undressed in the exam room for at least 15 minutes before seeing the doc. Turned out to be something closer to 30 minutes. I was glad I had the sweater with me and that I'd chosen cozy socks. As for running all around town with my daughter later in the day, these boots are the best. I got my first pair of these boots when we moved to town 3 years ago and got myself a replacement this summer (yes, this summer when they were on sale online!!!) because I knew I'd need them. They feel like I'm wearing fuzzy sneakers and really keep the chill out. And finally, the combo of long-sleeved-tshirt/short-sleeve dress/ long cardigan is so functional for me. I love to wear this equation of layers because everything is covered and nursing is still no prob. Once again, a patterned scarf ties the whole thing together with a bow. Well, not a bow but you know what I mean. Dress with an extra layer for the exam room, L.

Caring for Yourself Is a Feminist Choice

2011-12-13T21:09:00.001-05:00

Flowers?! For me?

You may get the sense, because I have a blog about style, that each and every day I make sure to look my best before I leave the house. Not so; and that is not exactly what this blog is all about. I don’t feel bad if time simply doesn’t permit me to do more than throw on the dirty clothing I wore yesterday or the workout clothes for this afternoon’s run. I don’t think I’ve ever left the house in pajamas except to let the chickens out, but I’m not above it if there’s simply no time for more (which would be pretty unusual in my early-waking household). This blog, at its core, is about valuing self-care and communicating that value to the world.

I identify as a lot of things, one of which is feminist. To me, feminism is about information, options, and the freedom to choose (oh goodness, and so much more, but this is a blog, not a book). I am not terribly conflicted about prioritizing and considering my exterior because (a) I see it as a choice, one of many I make each day, and I don’t feel that it bows to society or patriarchy or in any way boxes me in; and (b) I think of clothing, accessories, and [some] makeup as an opportunity to show up and honor myself and the day. Again, though, it’s not a “have to,” it’s just a joy.

I have a daughter, and that’s part of the calculation – what message do I send her in placing importance on dress? I hope the message I send is one of joy and celebration, but also of modesty, both in terms of coverage and expense relative to income. In making careful choices about my exterior I consider whether it is ever at the expense of another, more important priority, like for example, my kids. No one is left alone or crying so that I can decide what will delight me to wear each day. No one and nothing suffers so that I can choose a layered look that will make me smile and also allow me to nurse my son easily or play outside with my kids in whatever weather. I love thinking about color. I love thinking about clothing as artistic expression. I love building an outfit and considering hue, texture, and proportion in exactly the same way that I love designing and decorating my home and with similar priorities, those being practicality, modesty, beauty, and comfort. I enjoy allowing myself to love these things.

And here comes the big one: I do love my body – bodies are awesome! - and I feel I’m celebrating it by adorning it with care. Do I have negative thoughts about my body? I do sometimes, but I make a conscious decision not to give them voice – I don’t say them out loud - because THAT, to me, is bowing to society and patriarchy and putting me in a box. This is another value that I choose, that I CAN choose: respecting and celebrating my body, treating it as well as I can and speaking kindly to and about it.

Dress as a celebration, L.

The Power of A Patterned Scarf

2011-12-12T18:19:00.002-05:00

Today I'm wearing one of the scarves that belonged to my grandmother before she died. I received a bunch of her scarves, and always thought that the patterns and shapes were too matronly for me to wear. But, now I see that even more conservative prints like this one not only are great in their own so-nerdy-it's-cool way but also provide me with the opportunity to bridge different colors in my outfits, which otherwise might seem kind of random otherwise. And remember, I'm trying to use more color these days.

For example, here is a pretty basic outfit of jeans (Joe's), boots (North Face via Clarks), sweater (August Silk via Marshall's), and long sleeved t-shirt (Andrea Jovine via Marshall's). Underneath all that are a Jockey silky tank top and Land's End silk long underwear.

See how the scarf makes the yellow t-shirt under the blue sweater look more intentional? And that's not to mention the warm factor. I don't have a lot of pattern in my wardrobe (yet) but I really believe patterns can help make an outfit look complete. Scarves often come in patterns and can be purchased at a full range of price points. Of course, my favorite ones remind me of my grandmother and I feel like I've got her with me through the day. Priceless, right? Scarves = highly recommend. Dress with cohesion, L.

Own Any Orange?

2011-12-11T18:12:00.001-05:00

source: www.permanentmagenta.com

So, there’s this company out there called Pantone and their role is to be an authority on color, which helps professionals with color specificity, selection, and standardization. Each year, they present their pick as to what color they think will be the hot color for the year. Last year – the first year I ever heard anything about this - it was honeysuckle. I loved the idea of this because my former neighbor used to grow it in her garden which adjoined ours. It is a really hot, compelling color, that honeysuckle. But I did not purchase anything in honeysuckle last year, alas, and it’s not a color I had in my closet. My one attempt at trying the trend was to buy a t-shirt in a color that looked like honeysuckle in the store but actually revealed itself to be more coral when I got it home. Anyway, Pantone has made its color pick for 2012: Tangerine Tango. Check out www.pantone.com to read how they describe the color, if you're interested. Let’s call it red-orange, though, for our purposes. So what does this mean to you? Maybe nothing. Or maybe it’ll inspire you. Maybe you’ll start seeing it in stores and think “hmm, I rather do like this color.” Or maybe you’ll pull out that old orange trench and see if it goes with anything you’ve acquired since stashing it last year. The trench is true orange, not red-orange, but who’s counting. Or maybe you’ll suddenly look down and see that the vintage pin your mother in law gave you that you happen to be wearing today just happens to have stones in it that look a little Tangerine Tango-ish (this just happened to me).

Or maybe not. But now that you’ve read this, I dare you not to take notice when you start seeing red-orange items appear in store windows. I, personally, love this yearly color pick thing because it gives me a new appreciation for a particular color and somehow encourages me to branch out of the old grey, black, and brown.

p.s., I think Tangerine Tango might look pretty awesome next to old grey, black, or brown.

Dress like you’re ready to tango, L.

Wherefore "StyleMammal"?

2011-12-08T18:55:00.001-05:00

Maybe you're curious about the blog title. First, why did I put the word “style” in my blog name when I have no education or background in fashion, textiles, or clothing design? Because, not only am I endlessly fascinated with people's clothing choices from an artistic as well as sociological perspective, I love the way the word "style" means so manythings: it’s a verb, it’s a noun, it’s more descriptive than specific. I love it because the definition ispersonal, and so will your style be, and it can change throughout a day andthroughout a lifetime.

And, why “mammal”? Simply put, because mothering babies and young children has an impact onthe way we dress, adorn, and occupy ourselves. It has an impact on self-perception and self-care, both ofwhich I think benefit from a little attention. But I also love the word mammal because we’re animals withinstincts – not just survival instincts or mothering instincts but also aninternal sense of what makes us feel good, happy, secure, and joyful. That’s the stuff that should surroundus!

Skinny Jeans Are Practical

2011-12-07T16:49:00.001-05:00

Oh my, we've had a run of rainy but warm days. Warm usually allows for flats, as opposed to footwear with socks. But rainy and warm usually say to me: skinny jeans. Bootcut hems often end up wet and yucky and flats + rain don't mix for me (cold feet). Skinny jeans look good tucked into boots. Let's talk more about this skinny jean thing. You say, "I am not buying skinny jeans. They do not work on me, I am too [short, curvy, skinny, fat, whatever] and I feel silly wearing them." I say, "YES THEY DO work on you and you look awesome in them and you are not 'too' anything. And you deserve to look awesome in your clothing." I'm serious. I know it's scary to consider something new, especially if you've been wearing the same styles for a long long while but hear me out: these jeans are super practical.

I only actually own one pair of skinnies. The rest are more of a cigarette or straight leg, that is, a little teensy bit more roomy around the ankle than a true skinny . This distinction is not what matters. For our purposes we're going to refer to them as skinnies. The point is, before I bought my first pair of skinnies (Calvin Klein from Marshall's), I had a hard time actually wearing the boots I owned because all my jeans were bootcut. If I wore them over my boots, again there was the wet hem thing and moreover what is the point of wearing boots if you can't see them? If I tried to tuck my jeans into my boots, my bootcut jeans made me look like a pirate. Ironic that they are called bootcut, no?

Navy/Grey zebra print scarf - I have no idea and cut the tag off; Red stretchy undershirt - Revolve; Grey tunic - H&M; Red cardigan - Talbots via Marshall's; Jeans - Calvin Klein via Marshall's; Boots - Timberland via local boutique

I am not anti-bootcut jeans. I love my Express bootcut jeans from 12 years ago and just bought two new pairs at a consignment shop today (Hi Vicky). They have their place. But one of current styles that I love out there is a longer, perhaps tunic-length top, with either a legging or skinny jean, and a mid-calf or tall boot. This is the key - pair the skinny jeans with something that covers your tush, and balance the whole thing out with a mid calf or tall boot (we'll get into booties, flats, etc. another time). For me as a mom, this works for a number of different reasons. First, it's so totally practical because I'm covered up from bum to shoulder (so no worries about panty line or plumber's crack when bending down and no worries about cold midsection when nursing). Second, I do not feel like a pirate when wearing boots and my hems don't get wet. Third, I feel sexy because my body awareness is heightened when I wear clingier legwear of any kind. Fourth, stretchy (because skinnies have a good amount of lycra in them) = comfy comfy comfy. Fifth, I feel current and put together without feeling silly. Actually, most of these reasons come down to practicality, eh?

The silly factor is kind of a big deal, especially for me, especially where I live. The town where we chose to raise our family is a very come-as-you-are kind of town. This is why we love it, but it has a downside. Dressing like you don't care feels a lot safer here than dressing with care. But dressing with care, dressing like I care - because I do indeed care - is a priority for me. I don't know if it's just in my mind, but it sometimes feel that if I wear clothing that looks like it was chosen with care, I get sideways glances. It's judging a book by it's cover, and preferring the beatup old leatherbound book to the new hardcover. And maybe even mistrusting the new book because it bothered to wear a book jacket over it's cover. As in, "who do you think you are, looking so fancy?!" But no matter. As our friend Leandra tells us on her fabulous blog The Man Repeller, this matter of style is so much more about how clothing makes you feel and about what you like than about how other people react to you.

Skinny jeans = something new to try. Ready to give it a shot? Let's make it easy. If you're intrigued, but don't want to end up bringing home clothing that you will never wear, then my advice is to actually set out to buy a whole outfit at one time. A pair of skinny (or cigarette/straight) jeans AND a longish top (a tunic, for example, perhaps paired with a long cardigan) that works with them. Maybe even plan to get boots, unless you already have boots in which case pretty please wear those boots to the store. You'll thank me for it. A good place to start would be a retailer that sells lower-priced name brands (Marshall's or TJ Maxx for example), or perhaps a place like Macy's that sells a range of mid-to-high priced denim and good, trusted clothing brands. Some people swear by the Gap and Old Navy, but those brands always end up too low-rise for me and stretch out. I need a mid or high-rise jean to feel covered. If you're already into premium denim then you might try Paige, Joe's, or J Brand. My favorites are Joe's Jeans (via local boutique) and DKNY (via Macy's). But I actually think you should not listen to me here - you need to find your own favorites and trust your gut here. When you find a pair you love, that make you feel amazing, those are the ones for you. Dress practical, L.

p.s. do you even need to ask? Yes, I wear long underwear under these jeans.

Bright Colors Delight Me

2011-12-05T12:43:00.001-05:00

Last night I went to see an author speak about navigating the holiday season with children, specifically how we react to and approach the celebrations of different religions. One of the ideas raised was the notion that many religions engage in holidays and festivals of lights at the time of winter solstice. That is, as the daylight decreases, so we seek other ways to bring light into our lives. Leave it to me to start thinking about clothing. I looked around the room and it occurred to me that there was an awful lot of black and grey clothing in the audience. I, myself, used to have a closet full of black and grey and brown, so I get it. Even now that I am focused on utilizing clothing as an enhancement to my life, I find myself buying yet more of these dark neutrals. But here's what struck me as I scanned the crowd: the clothing, especially tops, that were in tones of coral, red, orange, and pink, were really pleasing to look at. Cheerful. Inviting. Happy. I considered how, when peering into my closet, I feel so much safer pulling out items in dark, neutral colors; yet when wearing these items I don't feel as happy as when I wear color. This is especially true when the sun isn't out. Today it is ridiculously foggy and dreary! So I put together this outfit, and I daresay that it is pretty uplifting with its loud pattern and bright colors. I tried to anchor the crazy blazer (Banana Republic via consignment shop) with a black turtleneck (Land's End), dark wash jeans (Joe's) and these booties (Antelope on supersale last summer) that don't get worn too frequently but are so comfortable I don't want to take them off:

Here is a closeup of the shoes:

Ok, so yes, I am an at-home parent wearing a blazer . . . at home. It felt a little weird putting it on, since blazers seem to say "going somewhere" to me. But now that it's on, it feels warm and fuzzy and cozy and I really dig this big ol' orange/burgundy/white houndstooth pattern. Also, the booties were the only footwear I could find that didn't throw the outfit off balance and I'm so happy to be wearing them! Cloudy day + bright, cozy clothing = delightful. Dress with deLIGHT, L.

House Boots

2011-12-03T19:12:00.001-05:00

Some people wear slippers, some people keep their shoes on in the house, some people don’t wear shoes inside but are ok wearing socks or going barefoot when they shed their shoes at the door. But we have chickens in the backyard (never know what you might be tracking in) and we have allergies and we have cold floors. And I have a tendency to stub and break my toes. Still, none of these is the real reason I felt compelled to invest in indoor boots. What are indoor boots? They are the comfiest, coziest actual boots that I could find. Yes, they are Uggs. Yes, I know some people feel they make one look like one has elephant feet. But for me they fit the bill for indoor footwear.

Behold: the Ugg Bailey Button in Chocolate. Why such pricey indoor footwear? And why boots, specifically? Because I love putting effort and care into the outfits I choose, and to me the outfits feel incomplete and I feel awkward when I’m walking around all day in socks or slippers, as if I’ve taken off my shoes in my actual office (back in the day). I kind of do think of my home as my “office,” because, after all, it is where I work. And most of the footwear I imagine and plan for my outfits are boots (because, as you know, I'm usually cold). I wanted indoor footwear that would still make my outfits look and feel complete. Real boots, but reserved for indoors. Like Mr. Rogers, I exchange my outdoor boots for my indoor boots the minute I walk through the door. Well worth it for me, neighbor. Tried 'em on in person and then got 'em used off Ebay. So, not so pricey as they might have been. Dress cozy, L.

Getting Colder

2011-12-01T16:48:00.001-05:00

Today it was colder and I had big plans to spend the day with my two year old. I dressed in the morning knowing I’d be exercising in the house during his nap and therefore likely showering and dressing a second time at midday. That’s ok with me; it pays off in my mood when I feel dressed for the day even if it might seem silly to others – and yes, this is even if no one is seeing me but my family. I don’t want to walk around in workout gear all morning just because my shower isn’t until after noon. It doesn’t make me happy to wear workout gear when I’m not working out. In any case, my exercise bras are serious business but they are just not comfortable for all-day wear.

On the bottom I’ve got on Land’s End silk long underwear beneath DKNY skinny jeans (I recommend them! They’re pretty hefty, well-priced, don’t lose their shape, and nip in nicely at the waist so they aren’t falling down on me all day) plus North Face boots (sold at Clarks). On top I’ve got on a long-sleeve stretchy white top (Revolve), grey blouse (Gap), green/grey heather shawl neck sweater (silence + noise via Urban Outfitters). Then I added this scarf that I love (Tolani via Ode) to bridge the colors, keep my neck warm, and add some color near my face. It’s too cold for necklaces; I prefer scarves. Stood outside on the playground this afternoon for an hour and wasn’t a bit cold.

Here's the closeup of the scarf - it's got such a mix of patterns including giraffe, alligator, and snakeskin, with colors from taupe to teal to olive.

Dress lively, L.

Ode to Ode

2011-11-30T12:33:00.001-05:00

Here it is, here’s the blog. I’ve only been talking about doing it for about a year, so that’s not too bad, is it? Here’s why, here’s the inspiration for this blog and here’s why today’s the day.

This is the outfit that made me see myself in a new way almost two years ago. You could even say it changed my life, because it started me seeing clothing in an entirely new way, that is, as an enhancement to my day and an outlet for creative expression. I was one year postpartum after my second baby, and all the clothing I owned either did not fit or was from my past career days and in any case nothing made me feel good about myself. I had recently returned to a fitness routine and was feeling ready to change. I went into a new local boutique named "Ode" and asked the owner, Kristin Kelly, for help, explaining that I was still nursing and most of the time wearing my baby in a carrier; everything I purchased had to be nursing friendly and washable and nothing too fussy. This is one of the outfits she selected for me, and I bought the whole thing, along with a stretchy, colorful longsleeve top to make it appropriate for cooler weather. And whaddaya know, this is what I wore yesterday and suddenly I felt nostalgic and inspired and ready to start the blog.

To me, it's sleek but comfy and easy; it makes me happy to feel and see the textures and colors through the day. The sleeveless black knit duster over the jersey dress makes it super nursing friendly because the front opening covered any leaks if you know what I mean. The jersey dress and the stretchy top both pull down for easy nursing. The duster also allows me to go without a slip (who has time?), and the dress can be layered over warm legwear (silk long underwear under leggings = cozy & comfy). I go nuts over tall boots, but let me save the boot conversation for later. Suffice it to say that I think boots can be super sexy even without a heel. I don’t have time for heels, but I do have time for sexy. In any case, as soon as it's the least bit chilly out, I am wearing shearling-lined boots that I can walk forever in. I'm going to keep this first post short and sweet. Dress happy, L.